LaFoo, I'm afraid I've been thinking....

While driving, daily, to kids school, from kids school, to my school, home again, I have taken to driving with my thoughts as passenger. A dangerous pastime, I know.

Luckily my mind is in a positive spot to talk with me and the dialogue has been helpful. Here is what we have concluded:

I really love Viv.  October is a month that used to be about Josh and I and our wedding, but now with Viv being nearly 7, it is even more about Viv than it was four years ago when she took over the month by storm.  Viv's birthday is in....2 days.  She turns 7.  She is still so small and learning so much, I don't accept it well, but I enjoy her so very much.  In conversation with other mothers recently they commented on the perfect family: one boy child one girl.  We had that with Faith and Danny but it wasn't a perfect family.  I haven't recognized as much as I ought how perfectly Viv fits in this family.  She is celebrating 4 years in our family, 2 years fully adopted, and a Halloween that isn't scary to any of us.  I love her intensely.  She is the drama in my life - the type that you see in good movies that makes your heart leap and twist and turn and sigh.  SO AMAZING!!  You should see her joy and perseverance every day. I love her.  I love her.

I love all my family.  Family in all sorts of ways.  I am fighting academically right now to recognize the struggles that we go through within families as significant as a 'master narrative.'  Why do I need society on the outside too?  I have a future with fighting in this arena - families are communities.  Families are where identity starts and ends.  Self is represented in all sorts of social contexts but it is permanently influenced by family. I just gotta get more serious about writing out all these thoughts.

I don't like being told no.  If it is for my safety, say no.  Otherwise, don't limit me.  Don't tell me I can't have it, or become that, or dream it.  Don't tell me that.  I've been constrained enough.  If God wants me to reach my full potential, who are you to tell me I don't have it in me?  Give me a chance, and don't underestimate what I can do.  I am amazing.  And so are you; so take your own advice.

Life is about choices. We all make them and I would argue when know when we are making them. We way the cost and then we just go for it.  I have a a pretty strong base for the choices I make but still find myself calling myself into question sometimes.  I make mistakes.  I am okay with that.  I am not rationalizing when I make my choices or evaluate the choices I have made.

I am in charge of my own body.  I don't like pharmaceuticals.  They make my brain not my own.  If I can't communicate clearly with my brain, I'm in trouble.  I have physical limitations; it is really hard to hurt.  Hurting is not all bad as long as I am comfortable mentally.  Always good to feed the body and the mind and make connections with people.

Okay.  I was hoping that I could get the writing juices going because I need write a dialogue paper in the next hour and a half.  So here's my non-academic voice, at least I can use that in the upcoming paper....

Introducing Professor Button.....Instructor, rather

Fall Semester of IPFW started on Monday August 25th, 2014.  I began the semester as a student with 7 credits moving closer to my master's degree.  I also started a new dimension of my higher education as well, that of being a graduate assistant.  I am being paid to practice being a university professor.  More thought went into that first week of teaching than did my first week of student-ing.

Truthfully, the first week of the semester blew by faster than a whirlwind.  Indefinitely, I had thought and dreamt about that first day and the jovial and personable teacher I would be, thus leading into the Most Influential Teacher of their Semester/college career.  I will not empty my optimistic glass quite yet to say that there is still not a possibility I could be the Most Influential Teacher of their Semester, but I will say the glasses are becoming clearer, less on the pink side.

I am a girl and thus did think about my outfit on the first day of school.  I have been dreaming of the day that I would become a professor for a long time.  Being an "instructor" or "graduate assistant" did not graduate my outfit yet to the professional frumpiness of over-sized sweaters and messy buns, but I did get to consider myself a professional.  I looked a my wardrobe as a way to visually show my students that I meant business, but still had a personality.  I mashed up the traditional work-place pencil skirt with one of my light weight (knowing I would sweat no matter the temperature in the classroom) colorful blouses.  I tied the whole thing together with beige pumps, the color of my hemline although regrettably without a nude pair of "stockings" to reinforce a completely well-bred woman.  I am from Idaho after all.

I can accept at this age of my life that I am a bit of a last minute person.  I certainly have all the mandatory framework pounded into place, ah! but let's leave the interior design to fall together organically!  I had determined that the course syllabus for this first teaching semester would contain my philosophy and major due dates, but the weekly calendar I could just not settle on.  I have taught often enough to know that I do not feel comfortable telling my class what they do or do not need to learn without getting to know them.  I struck a compromise with my guilty conscience which insisted that every student appreciates knowing what is coming ahead with a calendar and determined I would release the calendar online one week in advance thus giving me room to switch assigned readings, build content the class, and adapt to the students.

After the first day of class, I was glad I had allowed myself such flexibility in the calendar.  I asked how many of my students where in their first semester ever of college.  All but one of my 23 students raised their hand. Oi! Babies, all of them (to the university experience, I do have one non-traditional student that established early on his persona of being older and more experience in life - we did clear up on day two of class that he was not older than me, by a couple of months, not that I told him that).  Although, not babies to writing.  After a few journal entries and discussing our class goals and their personal goals, I realized I had played into the negative stigma of the un-learned W131 students.  I realize I am blessed to have a class of early risers - setting up classes before noon as a college freshman must be given credit - but will still not undermine how well prepared the are, and eager, to become proficient writers.

I stood at the head of the classroom tied to the computer the first day set apart from them by my access to blackboard as an instructor.  I was also setting the precedent that I am the instructor; a person with a bit more experience in this realm of composition that I can induct them adequately into academic writing.  I know where my strengths are as a writer and a person.  I recognize that my students have strengths in areas that I may not.  As it reads in my syllabus, I take my role as an instructor seriously.  If I don't give them adequate tools and strategies to succeed in this academic world, I have not done what I am being paid for - more importantly, what I am passionate about.

The second day of class I was among them.  We 'circled the wagons' in our tight little room and got to know one another.  I took pictures on my iPad for roll call.  The pictures was a fine tool to have for reference when reading their initial entries.  I wanted to make sure I was attributing their words to the right face.  They are each individual writers for sure!  I was surprised, from an instructors perspective, how quickly the mood changed when the chairs were all turned to the center.  I wish my room were larger, or my class size smaller, to make it more comfortable to circle-up more frequently.  We will certainly do it more, for that configuration changed things a great deal.

On Friday the fine glow of the first week was waning.  Students were more sleepy.  School and all its realities had set in.  Thankfully, I had relaxed my own dress a bit and could comiserate a bit with them.  My optimism had not faded.  I am still impressed and enthusiastic about my students and their potential.  College is still exciting for me.  I recognize that my "distance over time" affects how I feel about being an instructor to freshmen.  I am nostalgic about those first few years of discovery.  I remember the good that a university education did for me before embarking in the "real world" for decade before returning.  Certainly I am not old and frumpy, but I am well set to be an 'instructor' in this realm.  Having left the title up to the students, I am a bit gratified that some students open their emails with a 'Professor Button' greeting despite my obvious lack of a doctorate, for now ;).

Weighing Measurement

I had a two mile conversation with myself yesterday while on a relaxing jog in the beautiful weather that went something like this:

"Why do you feel compelled to weigh yourself on the scale at least once a week if you are finally at the beautiful point in your life that you can just love your body regardless of pant size?"

"Because I still like knowing how much I weigh."

"Why?  It doesn't have any bearing on changing your eating habits or what exercise you are going to be able to do?"

"True.  I have dealt with enough fatigue and illness now to know that eating is to sustain life and exercise is to stay strong, not for getting skinny.  I don't care about skinny.  I just feel more secure when I know what range I am in, and sometimes get a little excited/happy that I have 'lost' weight."

"But you know that your body weight fluctuates 5-8 pounds depending on which part of your menstrual cycle you are in.  Scales aren't accurate.  The one at the doctors always puts you 3 pounds heavier than the one at home, and that is not just clothing."

"Right, but I use a measured average to know which way I am going.  Doctors use your body weight as a measurement of health.  Obviously I don't feel obese and I am strong and have good cardiovascular health, we are running right now.  I think my tie to the scale is not about my actual size but more about measuring progress."

"You are trying to argue that scales are measurements of progress?"

"In a way.  They are like 'To-Do Lists' for me.  Early on in my home-making days I would make crazy long To-Do lists and then expect to get everything done.  I would push myself all day to keep moving because I had so much "To-Do."  Well, then I had kids and through experience got wise.  I still made To-Do lists occasionally to organize my thoughts, but used them as a mark toward progress made, not a measurement of my success.  A successful day was doing one thing on the 'To-Do' list and staying happy with the kids.
I feel like I have mature and become wise with the scale too.  Admittedly, 4 years ago I bought this fancy scale to be daily vigilant of my weight and body fat percentage to get to my 'Peak-Performance.' I got there.  And it was cool at that time in my life.  My 'Peak Performance' then looks a lot different than it does now.  So now I just measure performance.  I just step on the scale to see how my body is reacting to life and helps me keep in perspective the goal of staying healthy and within a good range for my own daily performance and average things out overtime without obsessing over the fluctuations or being at the 'Peak' of anything but happiness."

"So why can't you just get rid of the scale if you are measuring happiness not weight?"

"I like numbers.  I feel like that on good days I can exaggerate things and likewise on the bad days, when probably the numbers are the same.  I feel better having something giving me data as feedback. For the same reason I wear a heart rate monitor and GPS/Timer watch when I exercise.  I know when I am working out hard, or pushing it a little, but it is nice to have the numbers there to confirm that I am not placing myself in a delusional fancy place.  Sometimes I am surprised that my head and the numbers don't agree, but when I feel my body objectively with the numbers as a guide I see where my brain is being silly.  Numbers help measure a lot of things, I suppose even sanity.  And happiness is being sane.  Is that a good enough justification?"

"As Josh would say, 'You are a lawyers daughter.' But really, what we are trying to figure out is if we have finally come to a point where stepping on the scale is a healthy habit or not."

"I think we are finally there, at that healthy body and mind point.  The point where we can look at the numbers and feel where we are at physically and then make a mental note for progress if things are not so positive, or if they are unrealistically positive, keep it in perspective.  Fact is, I love my body and fully embrace the mom butt that I have.  Changing shapes is weird, and expensive (as we know from this past weekends second-hand shopping spree to size up into more wide hip loving shorts), but it is also part of learning grace in aging."

"Do we want to talk now about how we feel about getting old?"

"We'll save that one for later, for now let's just enjoy the run and the fact that measuring progress is part of who we are and what we like."

Finding my soul in one semester past

 Somewhere in the organized jumble of my office wall, a small paper has been holding blog posts unwritten.  I jotted the idea down as they came somewhere between all the other writing I have been doing.  And they will wait a bit longer.

This past semester I have written - composed and typed on the computer, sometimes handwriting them on back pages of texts books - more pages of text than ever before in my life.  It should be expected, of course, since I am a composition and rhetoric emphasis in a master's program. Here is there real break through though - I HAVE LOVED IT ALL!

Seriously.  When in my life have I ever had to seriously edit back my thoughts so as to not exceed my 20 page limit for a research project?  When you have been writing 1-3 page responses on 75-150 page readings for two classes every week for 16 weeks and you are still mega excited about writing your final project such that I was NOT up until the last minute turning them in.

What has been so intriguing Nancy?  I feel like I have finally found my soul in writing.  Things that I have believed are meaningful and I have wanted to present somewhere in written form are finally finding their niche.  Two courses guided me into this happy valley of compositional bliss: Family History Writing and Composing Communities.

The two courses converged in giving me a space to write academically about the influence of literacy on the concept of identity and how communities affect that self-identification as well.  The literate world, or the way in which we learn to learn, whether it be by text or other means, is where we shape who we are and cannot be considered in isolation.  I have felt this concept so strongly in three places; Myself as represented in years of journals, My family where I have learned the most and still claim the largest parts of my identity, and My faith and religious training throughout my life.

In my final synthesis paper for the Family History Writing course I was able to kick start what I feel will be a massive and wonderful venture for a career:

Over a four month period, I was introduced to the nuanced and burgeoning possibilities of family history writing within literacy studies.  As a developing field, our course goals aimed to review and reap as much academically relevant material to define the scope of this writing community.  Benedict Anderson wrote in Imagined Communities that boundaries of communities, although defined, are elastic.  He theorized that membership within a community may not necessarily be based on face-to-face contact, as it once was, but on the largely text based boundaries that maintain unique identity while encompassing larger more vaguely defined groups.  This definition of community is useful in looking at the group of people engaging in family history writing, as well as the communities they are writing about – families.

Because of the marginalized position of family history writing within composition disciplines and methodology, much of the synthesis and defining of what family history writing comes from the contextualization of personal family history writing as supplemented by the ongoing understanding of where that writing would fit within an academic framework.  Although the purpose of this synthesis is not to argue the validity of family history writing academically, it does hope to carve out a meaning and purpose for writing done within multigenre and multimodal rhetorical and literary studies.  What I feel is most poignant therefore, is to define the family and theorize by whom it should be written to emphasize that meaning within academia.

Theorizing and synthesizing family history writing has allowed me to feel more a part of the community of family history writers as well as a more aware part of my own family community.  Being part of a community is more about the individual investment in the meanings, values, and relationships of the community than about defining boundaries.  No specific methodology or theory can teach so many of the intrinsically felt spaces within a community, even within a writing genre.  As boundaries are crossed, extended and expanded, writing studies are becoming more elastic and stretching the abilities of our understanding about literacy and relationships.  We family history writers make our own meanings, and in that way, prove to academia that our subject is of worth.  It is writing essential to a broader definition of identity, and close enough to home for all of us to make changes.  What becomes accessible through the diligent and mulit-modal work of family history writing is more than stories, lineage, and historical facts, it is the identity that creates us all from the very foundation up.  We give testimony and permanence to the sensitive and nuanced definition of who family is and where they fit in a broader spectrum. 

That is the beginning and end of 18 pages of passionate writing combining two courses that led me to the gate.  Here I finally am, where I start on my real journey to fulfilling one of my dreams to write, and I am passionate about it!  I have a list of books to read over the summer, none of which would sound interesting to anyone outside of literacy studies, unless they really loved me and were patient enough to fein interest.  One square of that messy wall of cork board (the original Pintrest ya'll) is covered in articles I have found during research that I have read and will use in a thesis paper next year or just enjoy reading.  The other squares help keep me grounded and rounded; my dreams and positive statements square, the landscaping and home improvement square, calendaring square, home management, and kid school stuff.  I am a well squared person you might say.

At the end of a blissful semester and stressful season of life, my husband ordered me a rad gift to celebrate all the time I had spent typing in front of the home office computer.  I think he is finally realizing that I will be doing more writing, not less, and wishes to save my aching back.  Although my alley trash duct-taped 3-legged chair was functional in the sense I could sit on it so long as I jammed the 4th leg in at the right angle and sat quickly, this new gift is a fine improvement.

The key is consistency

At semester's end  and the beginning of a master's thesis, I have begun researching mommy blogs.  There is a whole world of literacy for women that has dominated the blogosphere since its inception.  In order to hone my research I have be sampling the recommended 'top' mommy blogs to find 10 that I will focus on in my research of morality in mothering through literacy.

Along the way, through all this reading, and searching, and laughing (I am part of this community of women mother bloggers and it sits all so close to home, it is hilarious), I found out how I could have been a success.

I started this blog in August of 2008.  I have posted, in that five year span, 509 posts.  Roughly 100 posts a year.  Most of the top mommy bloggers have averaged a life of 5 years or more on the blogosphere.  I have not crunched their numbers, but based on their current practices, the main difference between them and me (beyond popularity, but this is to be described) is consistency and frequency.  These ladies blog daily or at minimum weekly.  They are consistent, and their fan base rewards them with following them.  Yes, they are hilarious and others relate to them, and then they get more fans because you come back to see what new they are going to post.  And so goes the blogosphere.  Mommy's making a little side cash from being visible.

I also realized that I could also be a published author by now if I had been consistent with blogging.  That might seem like a bit of a bigger leap, but it is not so big.  Most of the top bloggers have published books.  The correlation is tied to the fact they have drafted the majority of their novels in their blogs.  Yes, their books are primarily memoirs, which is the same thing as a daily blog post, mostly.  If you finding material each day to blog about, it is something you are researching and writing about, which is the process of novel writing, just putting a few more conjunctive clauses in there.

The realization sinks in that if I had just been a little more consistent all my dreams would come true.  True, not even my dreams have been consistent.  So I will just stick with the current phase of dreams and move forward with new motivation to draft my writing and see if I get popular in the mean time.  Isn't that the way it is?

And since they are already popular and I enjoy reading them, here are a few from my top list:
dooce.com by Heather Armstrong - most popular by far, so I get to involve it in the research, a little scattered though
The Bloggess - snarky and lots of cats, speaks to the 'at home' more than 'mommy'
The Pioneer Woman - still on the fence with how commercialized it has become in aspects but the confessions part is back to Ree
Edenland, has an aussie twist but so tender, very real and true to her life
Girls Gone Child- lovely writing and mommy centered

Obviously I have more to sort through, and I am filtering them some based on criteria for my research.  And, to give credit to this trade, writing a good blog post does take time and would be a wonderful job. Just this post has taken me about an hour (of course most of that has been sidetracked reading the blogs).  And now I have increased the popularity of the populated mommy blog space, follow on!

The quality of equality OR no need for the knee-jerk reactions

As part of my recent critical academic research I have realized a deeply embedded truth of my own.  Happily, this truth is supported by a great many smart people, people that I revere and hope to 'fit in' with in a professional way.  The quality that runs oh so deep in my belief is:

There is no reason to fight when you have truth on your side.  And more importantly, it is only through respectfully understanding both sides of the issue can you positively affect others of either persuasion by your own stance.

Here are a few statements from very different genres that have enjoined the 'Hallelujah" chorus of my soul in some of my recent readings.
From Jennifer Cruise, a New York Times best-selling author in the romance genre: (full article here)

So what do we do about this? How can we win in the face of this unfairness?

Well, we can calmly point out the intellectual dishonesty of those who criticize the entire genre instead of individual books. We can argue that romance fiction is maligned because it’s so threatening to rigid political and academic structures. And we can show that it’s actually one of the more honest forms of fiction being written about women today.

But the truth is, that’s all probably a waste of time because the critics don’t matter, the readers do; we don’t write to please establishments, we write to reach women. And by writing good books, we counteract decades of pessimism with narratives of realistic optimism, we break through knee-jerk limitations on women imposed by both the political right and the political left, and we refute the sterile elitism of current literary criticism. We entertain, we enlighten, we empower, and in the end we influence far more people than any of our critics ever will. As much fun as it might be to bring the critics to their knees, we really don’t need to. In every way that matters, we’ve already won.

Written about Terryl Givens, a dominant Mormon Studies professor and co-author of "The God Who Weeps":

Grant Hardy, a history professor at the University of North Carolina-Asheville, said there is no one he would rather argue with than Givens.

“He’s articulate and he’s sharp; very prolific,” Hardy said. “I don’t always think he gets everything right, but he gets things wrong in interesting and provocative ways, and that’s useful for scholarly dialogue.”

Givens doesn’t believe in separating spiritual commitments from his professional vocation, thanks to a statement by the Prophet Joseph Smith, which reads, “It is our duty to concentrate all our influence to make popular that which is sound and good.” The LDS professor was determined to integrate his faith and professional life.

“It behooves us both as scholars and disciples to find that which is praiseworthy and celebrate it,” Givens said. “Whether that’s in the spirit or in the mind, intellect or culture, that’s what I’ve sought to do as a professional and a disciple.” (article here)

And a bit from Joanna Brooks, also know as "The Book of Mormon Girl," a scholar that has been a dominant voice for Mormon's in mainstream and contemporary conversations:

Perhaps there was a time when the dominant patterns of economic and family life and the infrastructural demands of growing a worldwide church made it very pragmatic to map the entire administration of the church onto a gendered division of labor. But surely that time is past.  Gendered divisions of labor make less and less sense in the context of emerging twenty-first century patterns of economic and family life.  All around me I see working Mormon women—wage stagnation (and increased corporate profit-taking) since the 1970s makes the two income family basic reality for all but more affluent LDS people.  And all around me I see Mormon men profoundly involved in the parenting and nurture of their children.  Some men are outstanding nurturers, in fact, and some women are not; some women are incredible analysts and administrators and some men are not.  Why should these capacities not all be honored as sacred and useful, regardless of gender? Put-your-shoulder-to-the-wheel egalitarianism in Church administration and leadership seems more in keeping with the pragmatic spirit of Mormonism than a biological essentialism-driven folk doctrine that would prioritize the performance of nineteenth- and early twentieth-century Euro-American gender roles over the work of salvation.

For me, the questions about priesthood, gender, and authority outnumber the answers.  I have faith the day will come when the questions will have answers.  I do hope that day will come sooner than later.  But without waiting, with no theological change at all, there is so much that can be done to manifest a greater commitment to gender equality in a faith that teaches that all are alike unto God. (full article here)

What each of these excerpts illuminates is a willingness to engage the conversation from an equally respectful point of view, hum over it for a bit, and then stick your ground.  They each convey a simple commitment to what they believe without having to "put on the gloves."  To be able to discuss things having been informed of both sides and  be useful in the dialogue is my hope.  So wonderful to feel the truth in many different avenues (as you can see from three very different sources above!).

Cheering us on

I feel as though I am not a very consistent person, but I have consistent desires to be one of those people.  Writing falls under that category; I feel as if I loose the vibe than I am too far behind to catch up.  However, recent events have taught me to appreciate even the less inspired entries in the life of the Button Family.

To begin, I feel as though there is great need to send out some more joy and rejoicing!!

Applause for Blogger!
Now this blog contains some of the most precious things to me - pictures.  Within the last month our Mac had a pretty severe heart attack, or stroke, whichever mainstay body organ you would equate the hard drive of a computer.  It died.  We saw some warning signs, but did not take it to the doctor before they called the time.  Within that oh so dead hard drive are ALL our photos.  I know, backup and so forth, and we tried, just not often enough and this was before the invention of iCloud.  Now, all I want for Christmas is my pictures back, which may be possible in a clean room environment by some highly trained specialist, and to me, it is worth it.  Thank heavens I have been putting at least some snippets of life here, with photo evidence.

Hooray for Housewives!
I have had a bit of a showdown with my feminist teacher in my Women's Literacies course.  Some conversations were unpleasant, but I was bold in a way I felt I must (and feel very relieved to have heard echoed sentiments in the 183rd semi-annual general conference) and in a small way, triumphant.  Through persistence I have found a way to make sure feminist theory not overshadow the authentic feminine voice and have determinedly shown a true representation would be more humble and reflective of the sensibilities that make women excellent housewives!  I have felt so inspired that I have decided to formulate a whole years work on the subject, in the form of a master's thesis.  Ah! Finally to be inspired by a cause that speaks so clearly to who I am and what I stand for in an academic community that has been misrepresenting authenticity!  High point: my professor admitted to the class that if any woman were to suscribe to a feminist view point they must admit that feminism, as a body of theory and movements associated with it, has made some pretty harsh mistakes which still hold the name under a wicked lens. Own up to it, and then you are able to really understand what the third wave movement is all about.  And yes, I consider myself a feminist activist, and I will more than likely explain more about that as research continues.

Hats of for Dental Insurance!
We did our before-school-check-ups on the kids' teeth.  After our last multiple procedure visits in AZ for Faith and Danny we had decided to pay dental insurance - and hooray we did!  Faith had swallowed her crown and Danny's two front teeth were rotting at the roots.  Again, Viv gets high honors for having the world's wonder enamel with no needed dental attention beyond a bit of plaque.  End result, three removed teeth.  Faith had the rotted crownless tooth removed and Danny, well, we shall say that hearing the 'original' version of "all I want for Christmas" is delightful.

Last time with front teeth for years to come.

Two small treasures at one big price.

Small and strange perks of Indiana, what fun!

In the small quiet town where Josh practices medicine, the world's largest historic car auction happens yearly!  I think all the citizens of the town also own historic cars, for not only are there lots full of cars for auction prices, every house in town has a beautiful car sitting out in the front yard with a for sale sign.  I can't wait until we have money....I have my eye set on a few beautiful models.  It is a car lovers dream, and here we are in the middle of it!

And three cheers for finding what you don't need!

This is the house that Josh and I had envisioned as our forever home.  In the country with a wrap around porch.  Bonus for being in the correct location.  Naturally, when I saw a for sale sign in the front yard I convinced Josh that it would be worth our while to go walk through it, just to make sure that we didn't miss our opportunity.  Turns out the house is dreamy.  We did our research, and in so doing found an even dreamier home.  We tried to hurriedly get our ducks in a row to put an offer on our dream home, that was for real and for sale.  Turns out, ducks don't like being rushed or herded.  Although we did eventually round up enough of the appropriate ducks, our dream house had already floated out of our reach.  This house is still there.  We see it daily.  But we now know what ducks are ready and which are not and are happy to just stay in our own little pond and keep dreaming.  Dreams are useful, but it makes the most financial sense to live in what you can afford right now.

The sunflowers were incredible and made the house so quaint.

Our neighbor put up the picket fence and I like how nice it makes our home look.

As of Sept. 2nd we had put in a lot of work into this home, and it shows.

Backyard particularly has transformed with grass, fencing, 

and the almost finished garden.

It's Curtain's for you

Saturday's project was to be building a new room in the basement.  However, our contractor helper was tied up in another job, and what resulted was just a lovely day of switching curtains around.  It is amazing the difference that a proper window treatment can make in a room.  When we initially moved in we just threw up the curtains we had for practicality.  Now we are settling in to things better I had the gumption to bump everything around to where it ought to be.  So here is how the switch-o went:

Everything is staged now to build a bedroom in this corner of the basement.  The curtains over the very drafty window I had initially put in the kids' room because they are light/heat blocking curtains, but they didn't fit the windows.

The curtains I needed for the kids room were hanging around the makeshift bathroom here in the corner of the basement.  I found the large red curtain and hung it on the important side, and with moving the food storage into that corner it created a fourth wall on the other side of the 'bathroom'.  Note that the wooden cupboards on the left have no doors on them any longer.

I had got some thermal sheers for the kids' room a while back so now I could move the appropriate size and color window treatments into the kids' room that is coming together, slowly, but coming.  Looks better with the right curtains to match the window sizes.

My favorite result of it all was our master bedroom, which now feels like a master retreat, thanks to the doors we took of the cupboards to make a head board and the sheers from he basement 'bathroom' to finally allow some privacy and daylight in the room.  Josh was skeptical when I told him about moving the bed angled in the corner to get away from the draft under the window, but just as I suspected, by creating triangular floor space rather than rectangular pathways the room looks and feels twice as large!  Always rethink a room, you may be surprised.  And of course the cats now prefer our bed for the softness and sunlight.

At Christmas I had found the fabric to create the valances for the dining and kitchen area, which Josh and I created on Christmas day.  I love the pattern and color (which can play both orange and red) and love how cozy it makes this end of the house.  I have only the window in the kitchen and the back door to finish dressing and everything will look so fine!

All this fine home improvement with only the cost of the fabric for the kitchen windows.  The rest of the window treatments I had from previous moves (way back to our first apartment in Mildred's basement) and the curtain rods were often splits of ones I had used before.  It all worked out.  As we are staying within budget it is fun to rethink our house over and over again to get the maximum benefit.

Got Wisdom?

Recent thoughts and reflections have led me in discussions with great friends and family to the following resources which I feel have deepened my own personal wisdom.  In fact, it was in the conversation of asking how do I understand _____ better that answers from others have guided my own thoughts.  Perhaps I will have time in the near future to articulate all the thoughts, but for the time being, I find it wise to pass on the following:

The Journey by Brandon Bays
- recommended to me by my sister Jill. I have read through this book in three days very intrigued and embracing a whole new way to look at the connection of self, soul, and physicality.  Bays espouses a new version of healing in the mind-body healing process that resounds with my own philosophy that therapy is not just to bring up old issues, but to resolve them, learn from them and grow into a better sense of self.  She quotes the following from Marianne Wiliamson's book A Return to Love, which I read to Josh and he surprisedly said he had heard it, actually used it as a quote during his mission, cited wrongfully as from Nelson Mandella.  Williamson's book is on my 'to read' list:
     "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small doesn't serve the world.  THere's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you.  We are meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us: it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
[side note: this quote is also found in the pinnacle moment of the movie Coach Carter with the omission of reference to God.  The movie is also on my to watch list; Josh had already seen it and says it is similar to "Stand and Deliver," one of my favorite genre of movies.  "Freedom Writers"is in that class, which I also recommend.]

Creating Innovators: The Making of Young People Who WIll Change the World by Tony Wagner
- Just recently published in 2012 as a report on the most innovative young Americans and where they came from.  Wagner studied kids and then went backwards through their history to figure out the commonalities.  He then boils down the threads to Play, Passion, and Purpose.  I love his repetitive triumverant of P.  His study also critiques modern education and suggests solutions and changes.  I have read the book for the purposes of guiding our own purpose in educating our children at home and through life.  It gives me hope for the future and for my children and faith in the greatness in each of us.

Teaching of the Presidents of the Church: Lorenzo Snow
-soon to be given to all adults in the LDS Church as the curriculum for auxiliory lessons, the next in succession of teachings of the Presidents.  My awesome friend Kristen, who will be teaching from this text, thus having taken an early sneak peak got me hooked right away.  Chapter 1 "Learning by Faith' is such a fantastic introduction to what promises to be a full year of learning from a fantastic learner.  His personal history is fascinating.  This from the first chapter struck me : A little spiritual knowledge is a great deal better than mere opinions and notions and ideas, or even very elaborate arguments; a little spiritual knowledge is very important and of the highest consideration.  Go to the LDS Church on Sunday and you can get a free copy to read, or you can peruse it online at http://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-lorenzo-snow?lang=eng

And for the shorter read: 
Reverence for God Is the Beginning of Wisdom by Elder Neil L. Anderson, Ensign Jan 2013
-Before becoming an apostle, Elder Anderson was an astute buisnessman.  His professional experience exudes in this article through his awareness of current trends and economic positions.  Happily for me, he is also a literary man and quotes T.S. Eliot along with Paul and Nephi.  With the specific word 'wisdom' in my personal pursuits I really appreciated Elder Anderson's definition of Godly wisdom, and wordly wisdom in both positive and negative connotations.  For me, the article is summarized in the following: Seek after this wisdom—be reflective, observe carefully, think about what you experience in life.  This article in conjunction with Bays' book clarified a lot for me personally regarding individual understanding and personal growth.

Amazing how much I can read and assimilate while still coming off of the research paper mode and having now assigned readings for a full month!  An inquisitive mind is such a gifts.  As are the silent moments of doing dishes in which all the glorious connections of thought and learning are melded into a personal wisdom and understanding.