Judas Iscariot was a our neighbor, wish I would have know that when we moved in.

Two phrases that are rampantly running around my brain trying to keep me from doing something rash and rage filled are from some wise men in my life:

• several year ago when my father was being undeservedly slandered at home while he was serving as a missionary in another part of the country I complained to Dad that he was not fighting back, his response was "Let sleeping dogs lie."  I have relied on that several times in my adult lifetime to keep me from getting into tussles with unseemly slanderers.  
• The second bit of wisdom that is keeping my soul from splitting in shattered faith is from a moment of venting to my husband after the heat of being burned again for having only tried my best.  I proclaimed "the worst is just feeling that you are being targeted and attacked when you have done nothing wrong!"  His response, "At least we are in good company."

I recognize that in light of the crimes in the world and recent hate crimes in South Carolina, my personal plight seems insignificant.  Yet I am hurt and have no where to vent and let it out that is satisfying enough to let this incident fly away from me for good.

Today a very kind man named Jeff showed up to my door.  Jeff works for the Department of Child Services.  He informed me that someone had made a complaint on the 15th about two accounts of abuse of my daughter that needed to be investigated.  I was blind sighted.  I was in the middle of wrapping up a productive day of playdates with my kids and yard work.  My good friend was sitting in my living room chatting about various minivans she is considering to buy.  And then the past jumps out of a dirty trash can and belches its way back into my life.

The two alleged accounts of abuse were in no way inaccurate.  We had, in fact insisted that our daughter eat her eggs at breakfast with the consequence that any food she tried to spit out would be fed back into her mouth.  The classic "you don't leave this table until you eat the food that is good for you" is how the case worker classified it.  The second account was using a cold shower as a consequence.  Yep.  We did that.  When you are resolved to do no physical pain to a child and they are out of control, your options to get their attention are limited.  What is shocking about both of these accounts is that we have not, nor have not needed to use them in over two years.  Meaning the child has moved beyond certain manipulative behaviors and we have a peaceful family and healthy child for having stuck to our guns during a difficult phase.

The question is who and why would this be called in now?  As I mentioned, those accounts occurred two years ago.  I had to ask Jeff again, how old is this request?  DCS only services complaints within 30 days of their report.  I know the rules and that he could not have disclosed who made the complaint.  I didn't have to ask.  There is one person that was once very close to us has become the persecuting Judas.  Someone who was part of my day to day life two years ago and has since turned into someone whose name stabs me to the heart.

You can't really ask what incited Judas to sell Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.  Money doesn't seem like a  good enough answer.  I can't understand why a person whom you have loved, trusted, helped, responded quickly and kindly to for years would suddenly take a turn.  Our only crime was to look for a different house, move out of the neighborhood and thus no longer be able to respond to her whims.  For years I helped with her yard, put up a fence at our labor cost, took care of her complaints of the alleyway, talked with neighbors she didn't like so that she wouldn't have to.  I gave her paint for her home and diapers for her newborn baby.  I weeded her yard and mowed her lawn when she was fully capable of doing it.  I shared the produce from my garden and gave them space in our garage to store their things.  I could have wronged her somewhere along the way, given her some little space to hold onto an error.  I don't get it.  I all know is that life since moving has been worse for us.  From my side of the newly built (demanded and harangued) fence along our abandoned property line that we manage from afar is that she cannot remember one good deed or moment.  She can't see that we were once friends.

And then calling DCS years later?  I know she has called the City on our property which has cost us literally $2000 on immediate update projects.  I know she called animal control on our renters resulting in them having their pets taken away.  We have had to block her number because of harassment and I have refused to pass on information of another renter that has escaped her tangled web of manipulation.  Oh now I sound vindictive....I am venting....I am upset and confused and just don't understand the Judas's of the world.  The ones that sell their friendship, forget it, or the ones that walk guiltlessly into a chapel full of Christian people and put bullets through their hearts.

The recourse left available for those holding onto faith in humanity is forgiveness.  Forgiveness carries with it a process similar to grief - disbelief, anger, resentment, venting, puzzlement, faith, prayer, belief, and choice.  I'll get there.  As Jeff, the bearer of bad news from DCS found out, I have done no harm here.  Let sleeping *female dogs* lie.  We are in good company.

Our home as we left it. (yes Judas lived to the right)

*P.S.  Last night I went to directly confront Judas.  She said she was not the caller on any of the complaints.  Although I don't know if I have built any trust back yet, my soul at least feels free of the burden of worrying why....I put a lot of store on face-to-face communication and I saw in her face at least the realization that any negativity 'anonymously' called in is not without consequence.  There is a great mystery as to whom would want to hurt our family with such accusation.  I did learn that even uncomfortable conversations are better than building up spirals of blame. I don't need scapegoats in my life; I need clarity.  Part of her rebuttal recounted all the positive things she felt she had done to sustain our friendship.  Maybe we all only see the best in ourselves.

Easter 2014

Although it was difficult to have to with until the 20th of April this year for Easter, it did give us time to get in a bit of green grass and do some home improvement to the front of the house. 

My beautiful matchy family after Easter Church services.

 Josh is now working 50-60hours a week, thus the kids and I waited until almost the last moment to get the Easter eggs wrapped and painted.  Truthfully I have had some suspicious health issues that make me cranky and unenthused about many traditions, and then having to do them alone drags them into a realm of procrastination all their own.

Nevertheless and notwithstanding the personal issues, I had been reading a fabulous chronology of the final week of Christ's life to the kids as their bedtime story (yes, it was a bit over their head, which makes it the ideal bedtime reading because they just tune it out after I give them the highlights and go to sleep) which had emphasized the symbolic reasons we do all the egg/candy/bunny stuff.  It was a perfect year to to be talking about the true meaning of Easter with the kids and they really were interested in knowing about Palm Sunday, Passover, the Last Super, Good Friday and all the rest as we incorporated them into our daily discussions.

 Grammie and Grampie sent us beautiful shrink wraps with Ukranian designs and each of the kids chose some of their dozen boiled eggs to wear the beautiful dress.  It killed me to use them because they were so beautiful and going to be destroyed so soon.  Then it was outside to the backyard for coloring the eggs.

 What a difference a year makes! This year the kids were all about coloring their eggs on their own with no input from me, and they turned out marvelously!  They stayed focused for more than 10 minutes even and I got to sit back and marvel and this lovely stage in their life.  I remember coloring eggs as a kid and being totally enthralled with each color and how deep I could set the dye.  With six kids in the family, Mom must have had at least 3 dozen eggs boiled, it strikes me that we only got 6 eggs each, which may have contributed to my intensity with each one.  My kiddos got to have a full dozen each and did a lot with them!  Yeah for spring weather too, so it could all be done outside without threat to my kitchen or carpets.  Although, they didn't spill any dye this year!  Miracles do happen each year.

 Sunday morning the Easter bunny had traded the eggs for a picture of the Risen Christ and left some Sunday lovely wear for the kiddos.  The kids were waking up before dawn to see if the Easter bunny had come to hide their eggs.  They were anticipating this Ressurection day more than they were Christmas!  I believe so much of it was because of our meaningful discussions during the week.

 We made the kiddos wait until he Sun did rise before they could hunt the eggs in the backyard.  The Easter Bunny knows now he is going to have to be a bit more cunning next year in the hiding places because the hunt was over fairly quickly.

 We had plenty of time before the 11am services to peel all the eggs and make them into the colorful and traditional creamed-eggs over toast.  I loved, again, how much different it was this year having the kids help and their recognition (remembering) which eggs they had painted and even lamented a bit having to peel them.  We made a lot of eggs that day.  Our fridge was full so we needed to eat all 3 dozen boiled eggs.  What we didn't eat for breakfast got added to the luncheon as Sundayed (not deviled, it didn't seem appropriate for Easter Sunday) Eggs and salad.  What a feast.  What a day.  What a reason to celebrate!

Probably the best part of this 2014 Easter Season was listening to the pure and simple faith and testimonies that my children have in the Risen Savior.  Each one, at various parts of our studies and discussion would declare unabashedly that they knew that He was the King and that He was their Savior.  He is risen and our Lord!  What a wonderful thing to learn from my Children.

Life lessons from Burlington to the Book of Mormon

During our  verse-intense scripture study yesterday morning at breakfast we read "And it came to pass that the Lord said unto me; If they have not charity it mattereth not unto thee, thou has been faithful;...(Ether 12:37)"

As I stopped to define all the 'they's and 'thee's Viv paused as if making a deep connection.  This was my secret hope, that our 'mamacita' would recognize that it is a Godly principle to mind your own business.

After a longer than usual pause between breakfast bites she blurts our "Yesterday a lady at Burlington coat factory was not using charity to a grandma."  Yes, she was right.  We had unfortunately been in the kids shoe section when a very unfortunate woman decided to take out some of her agression on an innocent old lady that brushed up against her cart.  It was a very disturbing incident.  I had felt horrible all evening long just recalling what had happened, lamenting that not only the kids were in ear shot, but that I didn't think there was anything I could do but wished badly I could have changed something.

Scenario: A late 20s woman with a large cart containing a child pushes into a shoe aisle.  An older lady, later self-identified as 65, tries to exit the same aisle and bumps the cart since it is a tight fit.  Angry 20something blurts extremely loud "Whoa, you could have at least said excuse me or something!!" acting terribly injured.  The undetermined response must have been apologetic in nature for it was in a low tone and non affronting.  20something retorts "You could have done something instead of just barging past.  You touched my child!! And you don't just touch people's kids without asking!" Another quiet response in which she excused herself with a bit more of defense presumably.  The loud response was "well you need to learn how to respect people and not walk around like you own thing!!" or other likewise rude statement to which the older lady finally loses patience and retaliates "I am 65 years old you little brat! I could be your grandmother!"  I felt the same.  20something was being a complete brat.  Then 20something fumes back "Oh yeah, well you are a B**** !You lucky my gran ain't here because she would ....." At which point gratefully I had found the shoes needed with the kids and started walking away from the shoe section trying to explain to the children what an unfortunate and disrespectful interlude we had overheard. All the while still hearing 20something's declarations of perceived injustice.  

The incident did not sit well with me all evening.  Hearing such rude things and not being able to do much about it makes my heart hurt.  And apparently it affects the little people more than we understand.  The next morning, after ample evening distractions and a full night of sleep Viv recounted "That grandma called the lady a brat and that wasn't nice either. That isn't showing charity."  No, it wasn't we tried to explain, grateful in some sorts for having something real life to relate the scriptures to.  In the middle of our parental wisdom Viv bursts, "And then the lady called the grandma a B****"  Yes she did.  How unfortunate.  How did that make you feel when you heard those words? "Very sad."  So you wouldn't want to be like either of those women and create a situation where you using those words would make anyone else very sad, including your parents. "No."  We can't change what other people do, but we are affected by their choices.  That is why the Lord wants us to focus on what we are doing, to know for ourselves that we have "been faithful" in using charity the best we can.

The lesson ended with the allotted time passing and we had to get off to school.  My heart hurt again for a bit.  I don't think I could have done anything to be a positive example in that situation at Burlington for my children to see.  Although I desperately wanted to step in and defend the 65 year old woman, or at least apologize for 20something, the demeanor of 20something would have just made it more negative and there is a bit to self preservation. I was hurt just overhearing her mean words, being in the middle would have been worse and I would have lost my cool.  So all my kids heard was their conversation and their mother's dismissive comments about rude and uncharitable treatment of others in the shoe aisle.

This morning, as we reviewed the first part of verse 37 from the previous day and moved onto the rest, I felt like Moroni maybe hit the feeling spot on, although a bit haughty:
"(Lord speaking still) wherefore, they garments shall be made clean. And because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down int he place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father." The kids immediately pointed to our drawing on the wall which we have been relating to since the first of this chapter in Ether-

note that there is a seat on the right hand of God for the believers.  As we read in this part of Ether that another qualifications to fill that seat is to demonstrate charity and also have been washed clean through the Savior's atonement.  

Moroni continues his thoughts in verse 38: "And now I, Moroni, bid farewell unto the Gentiles, yea and also unto my brethren whom I love, until we shall meet before the judgement-seat of Christ, where all men shall know that my garments are not spotted with your blood."

There it was, Moroni felt it, I feel it sometimes too.  I can't be responsible for all those nasty people in the world, I just have to focus on myself and the kids.  But it does sound a little haughty don't you think that Moroni professes he will be there looking back on everyone else, with a tinge of self-righteous omnipotence knowing he is clean?  Granted he is a prophet and running away from all the bad guys on the planet who want to kill him at every minute (this is Moroni's second good-bye speech in the Book of Mormon, and not his last).  But, the picture I get feels really self-justifying; perhaps because I am putting myself in Moroni's spot and looking back at 20something.  

(obviously I have not got the whole charity thing down quite right yet)

Godly Parenting

Parenting in in this century is hard.  Even the definition of what parenting is has me a bit confused on days (I have been trying to create a working definition for my research and it is a kerfuffle).  But I don't need to go to the internet to tell me that parenting is hard.  I have kids.  They let me know every day that there is a lot of work involved in this precious work of developing souls into the people they are meant to be.  As I have been searching through the historical literacies to contemporary blogs looking for where mom's are instilling morals in their wee ones, I realize that being a moral mother is a daily battle.

At the end of the day, I am a Bible-based parent trying to be a Christian woman.  I think that encompasses as much moral guidance as I can muster for three kids and a lifetime of guilt for not having done it good enough.

There has been as storm of mental hurricanes swirling around my head since Sunday.  It all started with the candid conversations with Viv.

It had been a rough week.  The kids were out of school for fall break Thurs-Monday.  That meant a reintroduction to the types of energy cocktails we have in our little people.  Things can get a bit rocky and as a parent, we sometimes get a bit too reactionary.

Here is the document that evolved out of it all by Thursday night:

Unacceptable behaviors:

1- Lying

2- Disrespecting anyone in the family

3- Refusing to talking during ‘conversations

4- Willful disobeying

Told us:

-everyone at home makes her mad/frustrated

-she doesn’t like/love Mother or Father

-likes her teachers more so that is why she is better at school

-Doesn’t ever want to have conversations

-when asked why she said “Oh my God!” during play, she first said her Dad says it (which we never take the name of the Lord in vain) and then refused to say where she had heard or learned the term, she is aware that cussing is unacceptable behavior

• says she hits her sister Faith because “she won’t ever listen to me”
• Viv will not self-entertain and when engaging with siblings (her only option at home) has to be in the position of authority, dictating the game, or pestering them to get the attention she wants
• she always answers her teachers immediately and truthfully

We Told her:

-Based on the information we received from school evaluations (PTC)it is clear to us that her behaviors are choices based on audience (home vs. school) and our expectation is equal treatment, at least, in the home

• Because we love her, we will base our parenting on her potential not her current behaviors i.e. we believe she will succeed in life if she eradicates unacceptable behaviors so we are willing to do whatever it takes to help her get rid of them now, including spankings (which is standard with the other children)
• Made it clear that our treatment of her will be no different than her siblings because she is not any different, which will change some of our reactions to her whereas we have given her more options or chances for behavioral change she will now have the same expectations as the other two (comply or consequence)

Catalyst Day (Thursday October 24, 2013):

After many days of counseling as a family, as a couple, and introspection as parents we recognized recurring patterns:  All behaviors with Mom were either decidedly defiant and oppositional or manipulatively sweet it draw attention away from other siblings and interactions with Dad were to ‘win him over’.  On a day out of school the behaviors were so pronounced at home that we felt it necessary to make immediate changes.  We always show a unified front in all decisions made regarding what parenting choices we are making for her, even though now she has made a stand that she is not making any choices with us.   As Parents: we are trying to inform before any consequence occurs so they do not seem as unruly punishments but direct result of behaviors.  We have decided that she will no longer be given the option/consequence of going to her bed because it has become apparent that she prefers not to have to deal with the issue at hand and seeks to be sent to her bed as soon as possible to avoid processing and hopes the delay will redirect the consequence.

I look at it now and think - maybe a bit harsh. But when you are dealing with a really, uh.....special child, things are harsh.  Friday I went to parent teacher conferences to see if Josh and I were just seeing everything through a tainted class.  Yes, Viv is highly distractible and has some rough social patches at school, but everyone is super optimistic.  I got a bit of perspective about how she is working at school.  Basically the same things at home, she just has a more structured (?) or better (!) environment at school that makes her feel successful.  I am so glad!!  That is all we want for her as parents is for her to successfully figure out the labyrinth of her brain so that her life is successful.

With Friday's perspective, and help from my sister with Saturday's events (well all tend to push problems aside when family is visiting), we made it through with out any major issues.  After some long naps on Sunday we all sat down for some heart warming eats.  Josh took the more calm environment to have little introspective talk with Viv when the other kids were finished (Viv is always the last to finish because she gets distracted even when eating food).

Josh opened the conversation with:
"I know we had a few rough days back there.  Is there anything you want to ask me about the new expectations?"

Viv: "Why do I have to have consequences?"

Josh gave me a calming glance that had "Chill out, I've got this" written all over it.  He knew I was still pretty heated about things and often feel that her questions are a bit, well, manipulated or manufactured.  He can often give a more genuine approach to things.

Josh: "Why do you thing we have consequences?"  Ah yes, use the best of the communication tactics available from "How to Talk so Kids will Listen & Listen So Kids will Talk."

After appropriate stall for a bite of food and dramatic draw of attention, Viv: "Because that is how we learn?"

Sounds reminiscent of a lesson we may have had a thousand million times.  Josh illustrates with the available fork why it is good to learn from consequence instead of continually stabbing yourself in the hand over and over again with the pointed prongs of unwise choices.

Viv: "But I don't like consequences."
Josh: "That's why we have them.  Would you ever learn anything new if you knew you could get ice cream by just doing the same thing all the time?"
Viv, with a unwanting air to admit it; "I guess not.  I should learn."

Their conversation continued a bit longer with some semi-satisfying results and Josh ends his portion of the discussion with a giant squeezing hug telling Viv how much he loves her and how much she believes in her ('reprove betimes with sharpness and show an increase of love after"+ practicing what he is reading in "Building Confidence in your Child" + Josh's amazing ability to forgive and forget until the next infraction).  Josh then nods over her tiny shoulder toward me, the muted observer that I should follow suit and frankly forgive her for the past 4 days of emotional turmoil and confidence destroying tactics that she and I have jointly gone through.  Viv suspects that the pregnant pause also means it is now Mommy's turn to chime in on the subject.  I gather up all my mothering instincts to be the bigger person, and surrender them to my personal wounds:

Me: "Viv, I have a question.  Why should I have to forgive you over and over again when you show no signs of really repenting?"

With a slight tilt of the head and her biggest brown eyed practiced innocence, "Because you love me.?" Her answer was a statement, yet when she saw the skeptical response in my face she retracted her confident body language back into a question, showing me that I was supposed to explain it to her.  Josh's eyes also lazer-beamed a grown up look into my person, probably trying to awaken that grown-up I had shoved out of the way earlier.

"God loves all His children, but He can't bless them until they repent."

It was a semi-textual example of how the Bible can truly be used for situational advantage.

In truth, I don't remember where the rest of the conversation went with Viv because I got side-tracked with the fact that I may have just twisted doctrine to suit my preferences.  In my personal conviction of religious perspective I really try to keep a textual connectedness to all principles taught from scripture and abhor the extracted use of words for isolated benefit.  But when it comes to examples of parenting through the scriptures, it gets rather confusing.

God's adjust for each of His children through time.  There is the vindictive role of God in the Old Testament who punishes with candor. Yet, the moments of tender instruction to His prophets illuminates the willing forgiveness on the edge of the clouds for all of Abraham's seed, His chosen people.  It makes like children of Israel look like real idiots when they can't get their act together and just get out of the wilderness.  And what about the God of deliverance that helps poor Joseph rise from the bottom of the pits and prison to rule over all Egypt?  The lesson is that parenting is situational.  Or is the lesson that some kids are just better than others so it is easier to bless them?

Within the last years I read a inspiring parenting help book entitled "5 Spiritual Solutions for Everyday Parenting Challenges" by Richard and Linda Eyre, the founders of Joy Schools.  Their second suggested solution is "Remember God's Parenting Patterns."  They pull 15 patterns out of the scriptural accounts of God's dealing with His children.  Some resonate more prolifically with my own nature:
 3. God gives clear, simple laws with will-announced consequences, rewards, and punishments.
 8. God has a plan of happiness for His children
15. God makes family central to all and the core of His purpose.
And some just seem a bit non-applicable:
11. God sent His eldest son to help and save us.
12. God sends angels.
Others are still in the works for me personally, and obviously stumbling blocks for my relationship with Viv in particular:
1. God grants us complete, unconditional love.
4. God allows His children the chance to repent.
5 God taught us and trained us and held us close throughout the premortal life, and then He gave us choices and let us go.
13. God finds joy in His children and in His relationship with them.

Graciously, God is my Father, and is perfect in those points of parenting I struggle with.
2. God sees (and treats) each child as a unique and eternal individual.
In other words, I needn't worry if Viv is one who needs washed out in a flood or lifted from the ashes, I need to work with the individual she is and figure out how to get a bit closer to God so He can help me with her.  In my calm moments, I can see that and feel that.  It is in the more mortal moments that I loose my footing.  The best lesson in forgiveness will be in trusting that the Lord will forgive me for those moments I really messed it up with Viv.  She already forgives me.  That is humbling.  Because I love her, and I really really do, I will forgive and learn, too.  In parenting, we must always remember that we are just as much a child in God's eyes.

Yeah, she's cute and she know's it.  Lil stinker

"He did expound all things..."

This morning I read in the Book of Mormon with the children I was struck by the paused contemplation of my six year old.  I read in 3 Nephi chapter 26 " And he did expound all things, even from the beginning until the time that he should come in his glory -- yea, even all things which should come upon the face of the earth, even until the elements should melt with fervent heat, and the earth should be wrapt together as a scroll, and the heavens and the earth should pass away; (verse 3)"

Faith stopped me with her inquisitive look and the slight tilt of her head, "The earth will 'pass away?'" They are familiar with the term 'pass away' as dying.  I paused in that moment of childlike wondering to put into context of their world the vast plan of the Earth and the creations of God.  "Yes," I responded, "when the Earth has done all the work that it has to do for Heavenly Father's plan for us, it will die too.  Just like we do when our work is done.  Jesus is talking about when He comes again and it is the end of everyone's work on Earth.  Once we are judged then we don't need the Earth anymore."  We read on in the following verses how the last judgement would take place and all would be resurrected to everlasting life or damnation according to the plan that "was before the world began."  

That was enough doctrinal discussion for the little people and they wandered on to bath time thoughts and chasing cats.  I was left a few moments more pondering over my scrambled eggs.  I have always believed that the sequence of the Creation takes into account all the natural laws that we have 'discovered' through science.  Scriptures and science support each other in all truth.  As I looked over again the description of the earth melting with 'fervent heat'  I thought of Mars.  It seems logical that just as the Earth came together 'naturally' according to the will and power of the Priesthood of God and His Son, so would it pass away again.  Science is discovering now that under all that heat and dust on Mars it is likely that there had been creation.  So Mars passed out of an orbit that was safe enough distance from the sun into one that no longer sustained life.  Or was life no longer needed there?  I don't know that Mars was one of the 'worlds without end' that They created on which children of God would come and Christ would pay His ultimate sacrifice for as well, as we know it stretched through all time.  It just made sense in that moment that all things would happen naturally as we know them.

Providentially the General Conference review I was listening to directly thereafter by Elder M. Russell Ballard solidified those truths.  His discourse on Priesthood power begins:

A few weeks ago, on a cold, dark winter’s night, my wife, Barbara, and I looked in awe up at the sky. The millions of stars seemed exceptionally bright and beautiful. I then turned to the Pearl of Great Price and read again with wonder what the Lord God said to Moses: “And worlds without number have I created; and I also created them for mine own purpose; and by the Son I created them, which is mine Only Begotten” (Moses 1:33).

In our day the Hubble deep-space telescope has confirmed the magnitude of what Moses saw. Hubble scientists say the Milky Way galaxy, of which our earth and sun are just a tiny part, is estimated to be only one of over 200 billion similar galaxies. For me it is difficult to comprehend, impossible to fathom, so large and so vast are God’s creations.

Brothers and sisters, the power by which the heavens and earth were and are created is the priesthood. Those of us who are members of the Church know that the source of this priesthood power is God Almighty and His Son, Jesus Christ.

My heart leapt a little inside me to find the underlying doctrine that had led my deeper ponderings of a moment ago.  The power by which all creation is made and controlled is God, and God is revealing His truth and power to us in increments.  Both to Moses and then again among the Nephites, Christ "did expound all things, even from the beginning until the time that he should come in his glory (3 Nephi 26:3)."  Wow!  Won't it be exciting to learn all those things too!  I hold off my full expansion of knowledge until the time I am in heaven, doubting the likelihood of me reaching a humility akin to Moses or a lifespan that includes the coming again of Christ.  I am really excited though, to find all the missing links that we are trying to piece together here on Earth about how He did it all.

Teachings of Jesus

Every morning at breakfast I try to take hold of the opportunity that the kids are all eating to get in a bit of Spiritual feeding for them as well.  I have a very small window of opportunity as they are a wiggly bunch and fast eaters, but I do my best.  As we have found previously, our small lessons can be drawn out (punny) a bit more with the use of colorful markers.  If you really want to get the most out of a verse, try drawing pictures of the concept easy enough for 6 and under to manage.

We are studying in 3rd Nephi in the Book of Mormon, in which the Savior visits the American continent and teaches them how His sacrifice has changed things and teaches these Nephite disciples many of the same things He taught to His disciples in Jerusalem.  Chapter 13 in 3rd Nephi is comparable to Matthew chapter 6 in the New Testament. 

The kids and I have talked for several days now about prayer.  Jesus begins his teachings about prayer talking about hypocrites.  That word alone took us one day to get understood and applicable to the littles, but it was certainly worth it.  I sincerely desire the teach my children correct principles so they can form their own personal relationship with God that will be meaningful throughout their lives, and prayer is really the ticket.  So it is important the Jesus taught His disciples that when you pray it ought to be for you, not for other people to see.  The next day of talking about prayer was in the following verses as Christ talks about the reasons we pray.  He notes that the Father 'knoweth what things ye have need of before ye ask him' which may render prayer meaningless to some if the outcome seems pre-determined.  Yet, Christ teaches that we must pray in all things that the Father can continue to bless us.    He warns against using "vain repetitions," which we learned in our little lesson as insincerity.

Today we approached what is well known in Christendom as "The Lord's Prayer."  As we began talking about prayer again this morning and review what we had learned over the days previous, it was important to note that before Christ gives this example of prayer, He says to avoid repetitions.  Deduction then teaches us that while showing us how to  pray, Jesus was not telling us what to say.  So, the kids and I went through Christ's example of prayer to understand the elements of prayer that he is demonstrating.  

I have known this model of prayer most of my life.  As a missionary I also had opportunity to teach people a pattern of prayer based this same model.  Today, however, I noted something, perhaps more poignantly in an answer to my own prayer, that I had not taught as a missionary. Colored as the 2nd element in our model "Thy will be done on Earth as it is in heaven."  I learned this morning, for myself, that just as important as giving thanks and asking for help, is recognizing that God already has a plan set out for my life and it is through understanding that in humility that prayer becomes most effective.  

As I was breaking it down for the kids, I was reminded of prayers I had said as a distraught teenager, pleading that I wouldn't have to be part of my family.  Obviously the Lord had had me born into that family, so that was were I was supposed to be, so praying to change that essential element in the plan was not wise.  I thought of other times in my life where I have known the plan very clearly, but didn't like it so I still prayed against it.  How sad it must have seemed to the Father, in His loving wisdom, that He had a child that was so missing the mark.  This problem is by no means solved, which is why the revelation this morning has been so meaningful - I need to seek to understand the plan if my prayers are really going to be of any use to me.  How would one sincerely ask for forgiveness or direction of I were stuck visionless of the real reason for needing direction.

I am grateful for answer to prayer found through scripture.  I am further grateful that the Lord makes sure I get the message.  I did humble myself in fasting and prayer and am recieving the answer.  The follow-up to scripture study was in listening to the voice of an apostle, Henry B. Eyring, "Where is Thy Pavillion;"

Got Wisdom?

Recent thoughts and reflections have led me in discussions with great friends and family to the following resources which I feel have deepened my own personal wisdom.  In fact, it was in the conversation of asking how do I understand _____ better that answers from others have guided my own thoughts.  Perhaps I will have time in the near future to articulate all the thoughts, but for the time being, I find it wise to pass on the following:

The Journey by Brandon Bays
- recommended to me by my sister Jill. I have read through this book in three days very intrigued and embracing a whole new way to look at the connection of self, soul, and physicality.  Bays espouses a new version of healing in the mind-body healing process that resounds with my own philosophy that therapy is not just to bring up old issues, but to resolve them, learn from them and grow into a better sense of self.  She quotes the following from Marianne Wiliamson's book A Return to Love, which I read to Josh and he surprisedly said he had heard it, actually used it as a quote during his mission, cited wrongfully as from Nelson Mandella.  Williamson's book is on my 'to read' list:
     "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small doesn't serve the world.  THere's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you.  We are meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us: it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
[side note: this quote is also found in the pinnacle moment of the movie Coach Carter with the omission of reference to God.  The movie is also on my to watch list; Josh had already seen it and says it is similar to "Stand and Deliver," one of my favorite genre of movies.  "Freedom Writers"is in that class, which I also recommend.]

Creating Innovators: The Making of Young People Who WIll Change the World by Tony Wagner
- Just recently published in 2012 as a report on the most innovative young Americans and where they came from.  Wagner studied kids and then went backwards through their history to figure out the commonalities.  He then boils down the threads to Play, Passion, and Purpose.  I love his repetitive triumverant of P.  His study also critiques modern education and suggests solutions and changes.  I have read the book for the purposes of guiding our own purpose in educating our children at home and through life.  It gives me hope for the future and for my children and faith in the greatness in each of us.

Teaching of the Presidents of the Church: Lorenzo Snow
-soon to be given to all adults in the LDS Church as the curriculum for auxiliory lessons, the next in succession of teachings of the Presidents.  My awesome friend Kristen, who will be teaching from this text, thus having taken an early sneak peak got me hooked right away.  Chapter 1 "Learning by Faith' is such a fantastic introduction to what promises to be a full year of learning from a fantastic learner.  His personal history is fascinating.  This from the first chapter struck me : A little spiritual knowledge is a great deal better than mere opinions and notions and ideas, or even very elaborate arguments; a little spiritual knowledge is very important and of the highest consideration.  Go to the LDS Church on Sunday and you can get a free copy to read, or you can peruse it online at http://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-lorenzo-snow?lang=eng

And for the shorter read: 
Reverence for God Is the Beginning of Wisdom by Elder Neil L. Anderson, Ensign Jan 2013
-Before becoming an apostle, Elder Anderson was an astute buisnessman.  His professional experience exudes in this article through his awareness of current trends and economic positions.  Happily for me, he is also a literary man and quotes T.S. Eliot along with Paul and Nephi.  With the specific word 'wisdom' in my personal pursuits I really appreciated Elder Anderson's definition of Godly wisdom, and wordly wisdom in both positive and negative connotations.  For me, the article is summarized in the following: Seek after this wisdom—be reflective, observe carefully, think about what you experience in life.  This article in conjunction with Bays' book clarified a lot for me personally regarding individual understanding and personal growth.

Amazing how much I can read and assimilate while still coming off of the research paper mode and having now assigned readings for a full month!  An inquisitive mind is such a gifts.  As are the silent moments of doing dishes in which all the glorious connections of thought and learning are melded into a personal wisdom and understanding.  

The Next Best Day on the List of our Lives

Saturday December 15th was the next day on the list of the best days of our lives.  Number one on the list was the day that Josh and I were married and sealed in the Idaho Falls temple.  Being married is great, being sealed is awesome.  So it is no question that the day that we had our daughter Viv sealed to us in the Chicago temple is the second day on that list.  

I have been pondering a lot on why that day was so significant; why it made the adoption day seem as only a stepping stone.  It comes down to my core belief, that I share with my eternal companion and we are teaching to our kids: this life is not the point of living.  We do not just wake up in the morning to live one more day and then another with whatever ambition suits us for the time.  We are here on Earth to become the best versions of ourselves so that we can return to a perfect place with the Ones we love dearest: Our Father, Our Savior and Brother Jesus Christ, and our Eternal Families.  

I believe that each person on this earth not only has a destiny to become great, but a purpose in doing so each day.  The best possible way I have learned to reach that potential is in families.  I love the family I came from so dearly.  My parents taught me righteousness and hard work.  My siblings taught me compassion and deep love.  When I met Josh I learned about commitment and willingness to change, and wanted to add him to that circle of amazing people I want to be with for forever.  So Josh and I chose to be sealed in the Temple of our Lord, in the way we know best on this earth to make a commitment to each other that will be honored by God.  That moment in which we made promises to each other and were promised greater blessings from on High started a pattern of life for us that we have continued in.

That life now involves three amazing little people with giant souls.  If I hadn't had a sure knowledge that people came from another sphere before this life before I had children, it has become extremely apparent after.  I know that all the goodness and brilliance that my children have did not come from me.  Sure, we are nurturing the best we know and teaching all the good I can; yet still, Faith, Danny and Viv are so much wiser than I could ever believe I created.  Parenting throws the purpose of life into a whole new belief bracket.  As we get into adult life we begin to learn from "the school of hard knocks." Choosing to become a parent enrolls you into "the school of sweet lessons."  It is still work daily, but it is the sweet lessons of life that come through the purity of innocent eyes and brilliant minds untainted by skepticism or sarcasm.  Kids are amazing.

The more I have gotten to know each of my kids, the more excited I have been to think that having been sealed to Josh on our wedding day ensured that I could have the privilege of being with my kids forever too.  They were already linked through blood, Faith and Danny, and I never worried about their qualification for heaven.  I kept working on my own qualifications for sure so I would be as good as they, who are comfortable in the presence of angels.  So even more true was the feelings I had for Viv. 

The more I have gotten to know Viv, the amazing valiant fighter that she is, the more I was scared spit-less that I wouldn't have her with our family forever.  It sounds a bit like a crazy lady - but my worst fear that haunted me from the day that Viv was legally severed from her biological mother to the day we were sealed was that Viv would die an orphan and her soul would be floating around in heaven, socializing with everyone no doubt, but nevertheless unconnected and lonely.  I am sure she would be wrapped in Jesus's arms, and I believe that all gets sorted out perfectly on the other side, yet in my worst dream I saw her floating away from me in space with a sad look in her eyes that pleaded "Mama, don't you want me?" It gripped my heart daily.  As the adoption process looked like it would get hung up on dumb details of payment this-or-that I nearly clawed at anyone near me to get them to understand that none of that was important to me, I just wanted my daughter!  I couldn't face the image of her little lonely soul floating away into darkness.

Of course, in God's goodness and grace Viv did not die between February and December and I was given moments of peace that all would turn out right in the end.  I cannot say I was always faithful in the great turns of the universe getting paperwork done on time, but I plunged forward as much as possible, pushing and bullying to make sure I felt I had done my best.  Faith and a great deal of dog-faced work got us to a committed adoption date.  As the days neared and others were making plans to join us for the sealing, my fears did increase and I held Viv a little closer.  Half consciously I didn't take the kids out and about much the week before the adoption and sealing finalized.  

I set the date of the sealing as close to the adoption hearing date as I possibly could.  I wanted to be gracious of family members that would be traveling to celebrate the big day with us and so we arranged to go to a temple nearest to us and a major airport.  We spent half a day on Friday after the adoption getting ready to head to Chicago, then picked up Josh and headed for the city.  The main destinations for the weekend were the temple, Legoland, and dolphins.  In that order of importance.  Rain or shine, a child's expectations are a powerful force.  

Friday we headed straight to Legoland discovery center (thanks to our homeschool science lesson unit of "Mom, how do they make....." sponsored by YouTube in which we learned exclusively about legos for three days because the kids were fascinated)  and played until family flew in.  Saturday morning despite freezing rain we headed to the Brookfield zoo to make sure we saw a dolphin show (Danny has recently decided he will be a dolphin trainer) before getting to our appointed time for the sealing in the Chicago LDS Temple.  I was so grateful to have our righteous family surrounding us in that glorious place, reminding me of heaven and giving me a glimpse into the heaven I believe will come.  Both sets of grandparents were there: Dan and Michelle Button and J.D. and Ann Hancock, as well as my two sisters Brooke and Jill.  

Entering the temple as a family was a wondrous experience.  The kids make the monthly temple trips with Josh and I to the temple so that we parents can serve there.  Being children, they do not yet enter the temple to preform the vicarious service.  They are okay with that.  They have so much wisdom to accept things that would be hard to explain to an adult.  The love being at the temple with us though and look forward to our trips.  They were innocently excited to be able to go into the temple for this special occasion.  Admittedly, Viv seemed most excited about wearing her new white dress.  The kids strode into the temple more comfortably than anyone I had ever seen.  It was as if they were visiting their best friend there.  All that big soul wisdom seemed to sustain me in the moment that I was to leave them in the care of temple workers until the time we would meet in the sealing room.  They looked at me with true confidence in the process and assurity that we were all doing just the right thing.

Once dressed and all the paperwork double checked, Josh and I entered the sealing room.  The hush and loving anticipation of guests and family felt very familiar.  I could feel within me that I was certainly seven years older and further on in life, but the newness of that moment was precisely the same as my wedding day.  It was almost perfect.  Almost because my kids were not yet with me.  

The wise sealer spoke with us a moment before the kids came up to clarify our understanding of the sealing ordinance, specifically what it would mean for Viv.  His words were a balm of Giliead to my guilt ridden worried mother's heart.  Viv is a gem and a trial all in one.  I have committed to take full responsibility for her as if she were born of me, and in that bargain I have got a whole lot that I am unfamiliar with or do not understand.  The sealer mentioned that the ordinance of sealing children to families is one of the very few choices that I am able to make for her that will assure her blessings in heaven based on my righteousness.  We all know I can't make her do anything, but I can make sure that there will be the basics of good assured her because of the choices I make.  That's when I cried.  It was the peaceful assurance I needed that I can be an okay Mama for this one.

They then brought the kiddos in.  All in white, they reflected the perfectness of heaven on earth, which is perfection within imperfection.  I couldn't help but notice how Danny's dinosaur print underwear was visible through his white slacks and the embroidered dog emblem on his white shirt was seriously misplaced for the occasion.  But he was happy and comfy.  The girls were lovely and decidedly more aware of how pretty they looked in white.  

The moment of the ordinance was quick and quiet.  Viv, similar to adoption day was more solemnly aware of things.  Contrastingly from the adoption day,  she was beaming. Absolutely radiant.  She was sure of herself and confident that this was all real.  There was no fear lurking behind it, just joy.  It relaxed me to see Viv as her best self.  She didn't ask her usual barrage of questions, she quietly smiled and did just as she was told.  Her tiny hand on mine.  A promise given.  No applause or hurrahs, just happiness.  Softly and quietly, Faith and Danny gathered around us all at the altar, happy and white and TOGETHER.  We looked briefly in the reflection of our family in white, all smiling, all embracing.  Then the moment passed.  As if a still moment when we could all feel what it really meant to be eternal and where happy with that and moved on in life's good blessing.

The kids hugged the rounds and Danny kept pouncing on the chairs like a puppy in his happy silliness. Faith wanted to stroke pretty things.  Viv just stayed near.  Quietly.  The children were escorted out.  Josh and I went to change. 

 I went back into the bridal changing room, which originally I had felt sheepish taking.  I was just changing into my normal temple clothes, but they were making such a big deal out of things.  Then I paused in that beautiful room full of mirrors for a moment of true reflection.  That day was something special and I was absolutely humbled with gratitude for life, love, family and my knowledge of it all.  God's Spirit filled my soul and I sat down for a moment to collect it in.  He had given me a daughter and also given me the tools I need to teach her.  He had given me His daughter.  And Viv is beautiful.  She is amazing and special beyond all I know.  Perhaps beyond allI will ever get to know.  Only in the reflection of eternity and myself could I feel that truth, inside the Lord's Holy House.  

Prior to December 15th we had talked a lot in our family about the reason we were going to the temple for the sealing ordinance.  This was something that most other adoptive families don't do.  We feel blessed to teach our children the truth we know and share with them the joys of revealed ordinances for our continued happiness.  Even when talking with the kids about what 'sealing' is, like welding, like welding a whole bunch of links together.  Once all welded together they they are stronger.  Our family linked together here on Earth and through that veil that separates heaven and earth is vast and strong.  All of those links are lifting me up and supporting me in my choices and failures.  Now my little Viv is linked right in there in the middle.  With all our mighty linked heart and faith we will all lift together in raising this lovely daughter of God.  We can rely on our collective strength that links us, seals us in deed and love, to our Eternal Family.

Effects of Current Events

God Bless America and Mitt Romney.  I am a bit sad to say goodbye to the political fervor of yesterday.  I haven't finished my grieving process yet.  I thank Gov Romney for running such a good race and plead with Americans to start voting with a collective view and less of a personal view.  I had thought that maybe,with the effects of even more recent current events that more Americans would look toward what we could accomplish together.  Alas, not so.  I was grateful for the words of a dear friend who posted on her blog that regardless of who leads the political government, her allegiance lies with God and his living Prophet, Thomas S. Monson.  Those sentiments finally put a mark on what perhaps has been the undercurrent in our family's reactions to the state of the union.

Current events have changed things in America.  What Sandy has yet again awakened in America is the sense of community responsibility; a commraderie that extends from coast to coast.  Watchful eyes and prayerful hearts turned toward the east coast from everywhere.  At earliest reports, Indiana was going to get our fair brush from the storm.  Josh and I finally decided it was worth the peace of mind to have a generator and got one, even days after we saw the worst of the storm had blown past.  We looked to our neighbors and our family, and something pricked within us a bit more urgency and care.  

Over the weekend the urgency kept a slight prick at my back and I felt a constant push to double check our family supplies.   I had recently organized a night focused on Family Preparedness for Church and had no felt quite at ease with our own preparedness.  We have just weathered a bit of rock shores with employment and were grateful to have had something to keep us fed and sheltered.  As we look toward more security in employment, the pantry did not lend itself to that same feeling.  Why hesitate?  We spent our Friday night restock the pantry.  It cost a lot.  As mentioned in one of the sources I have been using to create a more prepared home, since 2008 prices for preparedness supplies and food have gone up 30% without the majority of us seeing the same increase personal pay.  Why hesitiate turned into 'better not wait any longer!' 

 With the immediate need met of the pantry (with a sigh of relief) my sights then looked around to the rest of the aspects of family preparedness.  I couldn't help but get the 72 hour kits out for an update.  While Josh was resting from having finally succumbed to our family flu, the kids were glad to help we double check the contents of our emergency bags.  I had felt so secure knowing that they were there and full.  After inspection I realize that there is more I ought to do to really be prepared.  We set goals for monthly preparedness and weekly purchases.  We are working on having ready backpacks for the kids now too, who really want to contribute and carry their own load.  We have determined where the bags will be stored so they are most accessible in case we are called to evacuate as many people were on the East coast.  If we were told to go now, where would we go? What would we take?  Putting ourselves in the shoes of our neighbors on the coast finally put the 72hr kit in real perspective.

The kids helped separate out the loose change we have to then put in their own back packs.

Probably the most alarming to both Josh and I was our lack of water storage.  The most basic need.  Sure, it falls from the sky in a pinch, but we can not conjure that up exactly when we are dehydrated.  And is proof again with Sandy victims - there was water everywhere but I wouldn't want to drink that stuff!

Thankfully a really wise woman from Church had shared with me how she always refills her quart jars with water after that are empty of produce until she is canning again the next year.  Brilliant! You have to have the space for the jars to keep anyway so why not have them doing something useful for you?  She also makes sure that when doing her processing, if there is an empty space in her canner she fills it with just a jar of water that will then become sterilized.  Sterile water is a priceless commodity in an emergency to help with medical situations!

Now that I chose not to do much canning this year because of the price of fruit (the blighted crops made some really high prices out here) I have bottles just waiting to be filled by the easiest canning method ever!  I am just boiling the water while I prepare a meal and then put the hot water in the jars and put a lid on.  The cooling water pulls the lid down so it is air tight but not necessarily using the seal from the lids so I can reuse them.

The storms do rage in this great country; political, personal, natural.  All of them have some sort of effect on each of us.  As the kids and I discussed this morning in family scripture study - after the effects of years of wars in the Nephite land, everyone had the choice to harden their hearts for the difficulty of it, or to soften their hearts in humble response to trials (Alma chapter 62).  Elder Neil L Anderson, an apostle of God spoke recently about how trials differ in the responses they generate in each individual; what may seem simple to one person may be devestating to another.  The effects of temporal trials can truly affect the hearts of man.  I am personally grateful for the softening results that I have felt in my heart, and in my family, during a time when everyone has been effected in some way stormy tides.

Book of Mormon 1.1

Friday morning as I was reading from the Book of Mormon with the kids Danny began getting up from the table and walking away.  I quickly asked him where he thought he was going.  To get a nice clean paper and the 'scripture markers.'  I assured him that today we didn't need to draw any pictures of what we were reading, it was mostly war stuff.  He cocked his head to the side in disappointment and earnestness and said "But Mom, I can't understand the scriptures if you don't draw a picture for me!"  I relented and added to our growing wall of age appropriate scripture art.  

It is no secret that early on in childhood development a lot of it is visual, so it made sense to try and make the words I was reading them from the Book of Mormon 'come to life.'  The challenge is the fact that right now we are smack in the middle of Alma so a lot of things are war.  I think the kids caught on that this section of the Book of Mormon is not like what we had been reading (early chapters of Alma are about more spiritual principles, which we had had much different talks about).  So I have been challenged by making this section applicable to them.  The pictures were pure inspiration (not the drawing aspect rather, the idea to use them).

Alma 48:11-12

 This was the first one - I really wanted the kids to understand why we point to Captain Moroni so often as a scripture hero.  Also, at the time, it just do happened that each of these qualities related to something each of the kids were struggling with at that time.  We spent a week just talking about the qualities we were going to develop so we could be "Like Unto Moroni."

Alma 48:17

During that week we also memorized this scripture.  The best part is when I was first reciting it with the kids and got to 'forever,' the all simultaneously repeated it back to me in 'Sandlot' terms .... For....eve....er....For...ev...er!  It stuck.  My next favorite part is when they say 'never' and shake out their arms  as if it really were an impossibility.  So fun.

Alma 43:19-21, Ephesians 6:10-18

We did some scripture cross-referencing when it came to how well Moroni prepared his armies with protections, versus the Lamanites who came naked (tehehe).  The kids then loved acting out how surprised and dumbfounded the Lamanites where to see Moroni's armies so well prepared.

Alma 50:1-16

I think I mentioned before how one morning we spent a lot of time discussing how many bad guys should be named and laid dead in the pit of our fortifications.  I thought that the most meaningful part of the lesson would be that we can build fortifications around our city (family represented by the kids=small houses and parents=skyscrapers, totally not what the Nephites lived in, again, age appropriate), but the kids thought the fact that you could kill people better from the safe part proves that they are 'saturday's warriors.'  The bad guy laying in the pit ended up being 'bad words' and the king who is leading the bad guys (just of page R) is 'Power Hungry' and the other two bad guys are 'greed' and 'selfish' trying to get into our city protected by good deeds and testimony and the prophet is the watchman on the tower.  

After this, the kids got used to the pictures (as mentioned by Danny) so it became rather creatively spiritual to find something in the versus they were now so keen on understanding have some application.  It is war time and Amilikiah is still coming-  side joke: When I read the scripture when Amilikiah swears an oath to drink Moroni's blood Faith paused me and said "Amilikiah must be a mosquito."  I smiled.  Before I could get a response in, Viv piped in "No, he is not a mosquito, he is a vampire."  Again, before I could get in the question as to where she had even learned about vampires, Danny added his comic tow bits "No, his is a Mosquito Vampire!"  At that point, what do you answer?  "Maybe.  At any rate, I think he made a really silly oath, don't you?"

Alma 51:1-16

There are some perhaps non-Church sanctioned interpretations of what is going on during the battle, but it was really neat to witness how this section of the Book of Mormon could be applicable to our station in life and what we struggle with as a very young family.  As Moroni is struggling with the Kingmen causing contention within we had a great conversation about how contention inside our safe home makes it harder for us to fight the bad influences from out.  In this version Josh/Daddy gets to be Captain Moroni and I am Chief Judge Pahoran.

Alma 54&55

This lesson I thought was one of my weaker ones, but it must have been guided by the Holy Spirit for it seems to be most memorable to the kids right now - rather that reacting and getting more and more upset because of 'firey words' we can chose the 'What if..." and no people will get hurt.

I had to draw a lot out of this 'strategy' part of the war stories, and yet again was surprised by how things turned out.  I would never have thought going into Alma chapter 32 that such a truly personal lesson for each of my 4 & 5 years olds could come from it - again, higher purpose here.  As we did all the movements around of Moroni's strategy to get the city of Mulek and we came up with our family definition of what strategy is "using your brain to make a plan with the best choices" and it's antithesis displayed by Captain Jacob of the Lamanites "Fury, using your anger to guide your choices."  So we mapped out our life strategy.  I drew mine and the kids put together what they thought was best for theirs (with some parental guidance, certainly).  I love the daily reference to the choices that they will make for their future.

Faith was the one that pointed out that she needed to be baptized when she turned 8 years old.  I hadn't put that in my life strategy so it was purely a choice that she has already made in her little soul.

Viv added in her life strategy herself and her brother and sister and pointed out that while she was in our house it was her choice to always get along and play nice and love her brother and sister.  She also said that we need to keep visiting the temple.

Danny was most intent on drawing himself at the beginning and then trying to catch up with what the girls had already drawn.  He was really excited that he would be a missionary at 18 now since the prophet said he could go then.  I was impressed that even though he was drawing a few of the details in a little slower, the ones he put in were impressive (his spelling of college as 'colliegl' was his own as well as adding two people getting married in the temple).

This has been such a wonderfully fun journey to have with my kids in the morning. I have been afraid for them in this increasingly wicked world (not all bad but certainly a lot more pervasive immoral stuff) and just haven't know how to direct their paths.  I just started having morning scripture study because it is one of the basic instructions of the Church.  I wouldn't have dreamt that just a few months down the road of starting this habit I would feel so more reassured about my childrens' moral footing.  I know that if we keep reading the scriptures in the morning and just letting the Spirit guide our discussions, what is most important will be discussed.  I'm not saying that every day is stellar, just this morning I barely kept their focus beyond a few verses (they were focused on the left-over birthday cake, I hate the lure of sweets, its breakfast for crying out loud!) but we keep the faith and the fortitude, which amounts to some pretty awesome stuff, even for pre-schoolers.