Boy turns 7.

I have allowed myself to enjoy the fact that my children are getting older.  In fact, having Danny turn 7 was a wonderful milestone for us all.  For some reason 7 seems like more of a turning point into 'big kid' than any age has yet.  It may be that my youngest is now a big kid without me having any reservations that my kids are growing too fast.  They are growing fast, and it is fascinating.

The cooler beginnings of summer made the lush outdoor decor match the indoor green strings that we all woke to as a celebration of Danny's day.  Did you know they make blow up balloons now with LED lights in them?  It seems a bit extreme, but too cool to pass up buying.  So we had glowing camo-green balloons around the house for days.  What a waste of technology in the end when we just popped them and threw them away.  Disposable birthday LED.  Couldn't we do more with innovation than make glowing birthday decor?

Part of the consciousness of turning into a 'big kid' is knowing that others should/will give you presents for your upcoming birthday; and you can now watch the calendar and become a steady alert system to ensure that no one forgets.  Although it is not my favorite to be told I need to buy someone a gift, I will admit that Danny's birthday seems to creep up on me every year and I had not put the requisite planning into a meaningful gift to have the time to buy it cheap on eBay.  He should have gotten a Hogwarts lego set,  the boy is meticulous about building things from directions and patient enough that he needs a big project.  Legos are expensive because they haven't gone out of vogue for decades (good job Lego marketing division).  We ended up getting a supplementary set to Danny's giant garage sale Kinex set.  What he really needs is more instruction books for Kinex, if anyone has those lying around.  He is not yet into the innovative stage of just building complex things on your own. 

But I digress, the big attraction was a new bike.  Danny knew it was coming because we had to take him to a bike shop to get him sized so as to properly buy a bike off Craigslist. The bikes he test drove at the shop were fancy - gear shifters, Shimano brakes and everything.  The used trade ins were $100+  oh no!  This kid grows 3-11 inches a year and shoes, bikes, shirts, anything sized will be grown past too soon with no younger brother to pass it on to.  I think he was disappointed a bit when he saw the Huffy bike we got him (new from Walmart, Indiana has some serious problems with pricing things on Craigslist).  I tried to build the excitement a bit more with a good scavenger hunt- which was Danny's suggestion.  Yep.  He told me where we should hide his presents, how he would like to find them via a good set of clues, and which gifts his sisters should get him.  He was sweet about it, not completely arrogant.  But let's be real - 6, 7, 8,....and I don't know how much longer this will go, but these ages are increasingly more ego-centric.  So he got a good hunt and a semi-good bike in the end. And I put a clue in the place he thought he would find it (the attic) and hid the real bike in the food storage room!

Dinner was after Church - which you may notice Danny has decided to gel his hair for now (big kid stuff).  He had requested a birthday breakfast; his favorite foods are German pancakes and "fluffy clouds" which is a hot cereal made with Cream of Wheat and egg whites.  For dinner we did a Sunday barbecue and ended it all with a wizarding cake.

I was super frustrated that I hadn't bought black licorice to make the glasses the cake, so I made due with some old sunglasses that we demolished all in the name of a Harry Potter face birthday cake.  I put the 7 candles along the scar line so the 'burned.' 

 Magical wand sparks around the cake for the 'blowing out,' which of course they just blew themselves out and Danny's spark-back candles decided they would follow suit and not come back to life.  That, or Danny really did a good job blowing them out.

That's my boy.  He's long.  He's eating a lot already.  He is kind hearted and a  bit emotional in this stage.  He doesn't like practicing the piano.  He is not excited about anything that involves reading, but if you read it to him he will have all sorts of hypothetical conversations about any topic.  He considers himself an expert on most sports and will teach you how to 'do it right.'  He still comes in every morning to give me morning cuddles, which conveniently coincide with when Josh leaves for work and when he would like me to make breakfast; although Danny is almost proficient at making his own scrambled eggs.  We love every bit of this boy.

In the name of procrastination

As it is late-ish on a Saturday night and I have already watched a dumb movie this afternoon - my brain says there is no way that I can do any significant writing for end of term papers - I feel compelled to feel productive.  Posting feels productive.  As it is the last remaining vestige of journaling that I actively maintain (I somewhat compile my communications in a bit of an archive just in case someday I am famous and anyone cares), it is time to lay down some mortar that might stick together the past months.  As it is, I have no evidence online that the Button family continued to exist beyond the year 2014.  We are alive.  The apocalypse did not hit Indiana (although there are rumors that our proximity to Adam-on-diaman may give us some advance warning) and force us into oblivion.  Herein lies the proof:

We packed up and moved into our new house on  December 23rd.  It was the fastest  unpack I have ever done because we needed to have a 'home' atmosphere for Christmas.

In this photo it is very apparent that the elements of tradition that was forcing me to roll sushi on New Years was not personally what I wanted to be doing.  But the kids love it.  With the speed of the move, I am super impressed that I was able to keep up with any tradition.  But with the kids, they are old enough now to keep the guilt trip coming: that is the essence of tradition and as we edit our past when older, each one of those consistent years together will paint a picture of family bliss and fun despite Mom being cranky in 2015.

Josh and I made it to 33.  I don't remember what I got for Josh for his birthday and I only remember going to get some hair coloring done on my birthday...wow that doesn't speak well for early thirties!

Through January and February we had plenty 'snow day' cancellation from school which had nothing to do with snow but with a bit of chilled weather.  We loved having the ambiance of a fire to do some homework by on some of the chill days. I do have amazing kids.  Most of the time we are getting along and enjoy the same activities. 

Snow day core strengthening activities.  Viv is the only one of us with a strong core.  Danny is too ticklish to stay long in an airplane and Faith is floppy.  

So impressive - the kids wrote a play about cats and created costumes.  Day well spent.

January 14th, 2015 my baby turned 8.  Wahoo! I am no longer accountable for her sins!  Really, now we are all just accountable for the emotionality of burgeoning independence.

I couldn't have imagined how beautiful this day would be.  Faith chose to be baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  She has such a mature soul and perceptive intellect that the choice was deeply felt by us all and I felt something more pure than proud, perhaps it is joy.

While Grammie and Grampie were in town for the baptism we went out for the first  roller-skating  experience.  The kids were pretty amazing.  Maybe I am a mean mom, but I wouldn't let them use the walkers on wheels as a crutch for learning.  In my opinion, they learned faster than if they had a walker, but I have no proof that there is any correlation.  Mostly it was their determination. 

Disco baby!

March we took a trip over to Columbus Ohio to visit the Ohio State University.  The trip was a combo of PhD program interviewing, temple visit, and most important for the kids - OSU vs Boise State gymnastics meet!  We reconnected with a cousin of mine who joined us at the meet.  It was really cool to see the women gymnasts do some amazing stuff so close up.  We tell Viv were are investing in her college tuition by paying for gymnastic lessons now - no pressure.

I may have gone a bit overboard with the eggs for color, not that the kids minded. And we have a giant yard to hide them in, we just had to make sure we had an accurate count.  

With Auntie Jill living with us she makes sure we schedule plenty of outings to experience life beyond our home.  We watched the IPFW mens baseball up to the 6th inning and decided we are more excited for the Tin Caps season to open than we thought.

The excursion to the game was worth it for Danny who found a ball in the grass and when he tried to return in to the team, they said he could keep it.  Free game.  Free ball.

I've been working hard as a student his past semester and have had some academic honors bestowed upon me.  Fancy.  I presented a couple of my papers at conferences and symposiums and it accumulated in a scholarship award from the department.  I am grateful to have the recognition not to inflate the ego, but rather to be able to celebrate what I am doing as a contribution.  It is nice to know your work is appreciated. 

Whereas I used this blog in one of my research projects on journal writing, which will probably become a theme as I continue to work with family history writing projects, I hope to keep everyone posted. That is, anyone who is still interested in the ancient form of blogging (came out in 2005 and after a decade in the digital world it is basically dino bones).  I teach blogging to my beginning composition students of one the original internet writing genres and LOVE it!

Not to be forgotten - October and November

Fast recap of what transpired in the family through October and November:As a family, and yes, that very much includes the cats, we watched the General Conference Broadcast at home.  I suppose it is not true to say the full family because Josh could not join us on Saturday as he is always working.  But, Sunday he did.  We kicked up our feet and enjoyed snuggling and working quietly while listening.  The kids are becoming wonderful note takers and probably go more out of the talks than I did (I was a bit snoozy).

Viv turned 7 on October 16th.  We often wonder if her biological age is about a decade behind her attitude.  She absolutely loves fashion and was pleased to receive more frills and sparkles to put together (and yes, she just puts together her favorite without regard to matching which is surprising considering her over-conscious regard for social acceptance).  She certainly is a force to be reckoned with, and is learning how to reckon with herself.  She is a proficient reader and can do anything she sets her mind to, it is the setting the mind part that is still in progress.

 Josh and I celebrated our 9th Anniversary on October 27th.  Having Josh by my side for all these many years is my favorite constant.  I couldn't ask for a more devoted and progressive man.  He got me this lovely hat and a praying mantis broach. Josh was a bit worried about the animalistic connection of how the female mantis bites the head off her mate after they copulate.  I figure that (1) my mouth is not that big and (2) it would have to be some experience for me to loose that kind of self-control.  All in all, Josh doesn't have to worry about me literally biting his head off, and I think that over the years I have become a better wife and 'bite-his-head-off' a little less figuratively.

Everyone in our house is currently obsessed with Harry Potter, so it was a sure bet for Halloween to go the Hogwarts road to costuming.  An etsy friend supplied the scarves and I broke down and bought a new sewing machine to finish out the cloaks (it should not take hours to sew a basic polyester straight stitch and that is when I knew that Grandma's machine and I were going to have to part ways).  With his blonde hair, Danny was Draco Malfoy, Faith naturally was Hermione Granger, and Viv was Nymphadora Tonks.  I resurrected my annual witches cloak and went as Minerva McGonagall circa Tom Riddle's era and Josh was Professor Snape for trick-or-treating.  The kids are still running around the house with their wands practicing various spells and hexes.  Luckily they are Muggle born and their magical skills are not so strong even if Faith is determined she will see her letter from Hogwarts (or the American Wizarding school equivalent) when she turns 11 years old.  

 We are currently finishing out book 4 in the series.  I made the cloaks extra long so they could be used again next year, when it is likely we are just finishing out book 7.

 I was not actually with the family on Halloween - first time ever - so Josh took the kids trick or treating.  I was attending an academic conference at MSU.  I am nearing the end of my Master's degree and scoping out schools for doctoral work.  I traveled with a couple of professors for the first ever Cultural Rhetorics Conference.  The conference was groundbreaking and the sushi place we ate at was amazing!

 Halloween crept up on us rather fast.  We were in the throws of school and buying a new home (we closed on our home two days before Thanksgiving).  I decided that I was tired of inviting guests over having had some ingracious ones in the past, but I was not tired of making the food.  I love cooking a big meal, bummer we don't have many people to share it with.  Ah well, I was emotional drained and the weather change was tickling the fibromyalgia.  We got a turkey roaster many  years ago and it makes AMAZINGLY MOIST bird.  Totally worth the left overs.  We brined it this year, which I loved, the rest thought it a bit too salty in pockets.  

Grandma Ruby's rolls and rainbow Jello are traditional must.

Jill helped out with the side dishes.  The spread was amazing!  The leftovers lingered well into December, which was wonderful since my pension for cooking was waning.    The remedy for not wanting to cook in December, however was the German Aubendbrot tradition.  We fit in three fabulous, company filled Sunday feasts preceding Christmas and filled the fridge with wonderful leftovers.  We invited my good friends from a family history writing course on the 7th, the Gregory and Coudron family on the 14th, and finished strong with the Routsong family on the 21st.  

 Although we do look forward to the food, the tradition of singing carols of the Season and reading from the scriptural accounts of Jesus' birth are what really hold the Holidays together for me. I am so grateful for good parents who established patterns that have helped me, and now my family (and a couple of regular annual guests) look forward to celebrating the birth of our Savior.  Traditions absolutely help me maintain some of the joy of the season for our family despite my own personal health.  It is good to just do what you have always done and be blessed by it every year.  It has also made all my kids wonderful singers who know the words to great anthems of the Messiah's coming!

2013? It was awesome

I don't know how I got away with neglecting our family's version of keeping track of what we have done (and sometimes just what I am thinking), but here it is, into a new year and I have neglected some of the finest finishes on 2013.  I will, of course blame it on the end of semester stresses and the flu, which caught us all off guard.  Yet, without dwelling too much on the missed opportunity of the past, here are some of the awesome photo-captured remaining moments of 2013:

A fantastically organized and generous classmate of the kids invited us all over to do a  gingerbread creation entry into the annual gingerbread festival.  Not only was it mega fun to see the kids playing together outside of school and working somewhat on the creation, it motivated us to go to the Gingerbread Festival downtown this year.  I understand it is a fundraiser so I will forgive the entrance fee to see candy piled in one giant room.  Pretty impressive, and the kids won 3rd place in their category for their interpretation of the historical impact of Interstates bypassing Fort Wayne rather than going straight through.

Since the children have recess in a lovely forest with amazing fall colors, like little squirrels they started to bring home their natural spoils.  We determined to put them to good use in one flourish of craftiness (which comes bi-annually for me).  The kids prepared gratitude trees for their classrooms made from the pieces of their very own woods.  It is amazing what some scrap wood and metallic spray paint can do.  I was most excited about the effect of focusing on what we are grateful for had on myself as well as the kids.  It was a good year to remember we are blessed.

Thanksgiving was a much slighter crowd than I prefer, which did not stop me from creating the regular smorgasbord of foods.  Thanksgiving is one of those days in the year when I enjoy making a lot of laborious foods to share with others.  The kids were my favorite companions through all the preparations and their enthusiasm and anticipation made the holiday so much sweeter than my sour attitude may have turned it.  And, low and behold, this year was a fantastic pie year!  Many thanks go to my amazing friend Naomi who has master the art of pie crusts and shared her recipe with me.

The Sunday after Thanksgiving started off our Christmas season with Advent.  I can't say enough how cool it is to have kids in this stage that makes everything magical again.  The kids were enthralled with setting a formal table and all the preparations.  Our dinner guests were hit-and-miss again this year (a very disappointing aspect of sharing a tradition with a modern society), but as Josh says, we have better company with our kids sometimes than if we were to invite others to join us.  Four Sundays of our favorite foods and we are fine either way!

Christmas Eve my darling husband ushered the kids through as many traditions as possible as I lay slave to a porcelain god. The stomach flu which the girls has overcome the week before waited for Christmas Eve to hit Danny and I.  Danny was a better patient than I and pulled out of the pukes within 6 hours.  My aging body was relentless in holding on to some severe inflammation for a few days but hey, I am learning to love and respect my body and its crazy anti-immune disease.  I particularly love this picture because it is a replay of a Christmas picture nearly 3 years old.  Oh they are still just as cute.

Josh's birthday came like clockwork the day after Christmas.  The kids were no less excited about gift opening, even if it were all for Daddy.  We open first thing in the morning so birthdays are like Christmas.  As any old-fogie would, Josh's gifts were practical work clothes and a challenge for a Spartan race in the spring. ;) we won't succumb to age gracefully.

On New Year's Eve, at 8:30pm, when everyone was asleep but myself, I opened up my early birthday present to myself and cuddled up with a kitten to usher in the New Year. As we say, the New Year will come whether  you are awake or not, so we may as well sleep!  I was cozy, and still wearing the pajamas on the 2nd as my birthday rolled around (I changed out of them for the day of New Years but got back in for the sleeping, oh so cozy).  

We had thought the last of our holiday vacation days had come by the end of today, but hooray for snow!  The 'severe weather' storm of the winter hit today, which reminded me of many a day sitting at the cabin in my childhood, lightly falling snow most of the day accumulating nicely up to 12 inches.  Church was cancelled.  Pretty much everything in Fort Wayne is cancelled for the next two days.  I suppose their snow plows are extra clunky? Knowing it was a wet snow the kids and Josh went out to smash as much of it together as possible in cute forms.  Supposedly it will be very cold the next few days after today.  Who cares, we still have more vacation together tomorrow!

A birthday in question: when parenting makes an otherwise festive occasion really forced

Viv's birthday is October 16th.  Having been born in 2007 she was on schedule to celebrate her 6th year of life.  Birthday celebrations are to mark the passing of age and growth into new stages in life.  And this year, we found out how negotiable birthdays can be.

The introduction of birthday celebrations in our family with Viv made a dramatic shift.  When we celebrated her 4th birthday we fast realized that the whole idea of 'my special day' was going to have to be eradicated from the family dialogue.  No more of the queen for the day if they are going to be a regular tyrant!  We also learned that gifts were going to have to take on a very significant purpose so as not to be expected as a reward just for having stayed alive one more year.  We do not support any hint of entitlement in this home.

Thus evolved over the last to years the family tradition of celebrating the things that make the birthday child special. I have really really liked this method, not just for the psychological effect on the kids, but for the mentality it puts me in as a parent preparing the days purpose; especially as it relates to choosing gifts.  Gifts now represent what we truly feel is special about our children and how far they have come in the past year.  As they open the gift we are happy to explain to them how their accomplishments of that year have affected the family and how we want to rejoice with them in all the good they have done and can continue to do as we support them.

Even with our most managed discussion of what birthdays are for, Viv has a built in diva that sets the day up as ultra dramatic.  As she is developing she displayed the budding awareness of dates and passage of time leading up to her birthday.  In her excited way, she was announcing to everyone weeks in advance the approach special day for her.  "How old will you be?" the friendly person asks.  "I'm turning 6!"  

Well, it is no secret that we have regressive struggles with Viv that range from two year old tantrums (yes still throwing her self on the ground folks) to three year old potty training to four year old indecision.  Yes, we grant her the grace of not having had the most smooth transition through many of those developmental stages and know that her brain is in a marathon race to retrieve some lost time, however, anyone who knows Viv knows she has a super developed sense of street smarts and awareness of social cues. 

 Thus, on a difficult day, facing more of the two-year-old than an almost-six-year-old,  Jost tapped into the hot-topic resource for our parenting benefit.  Watching her from the rear-view mirror pout and kick and nearly bite her siblings, Josh calmly said "I don't know Viv if you are actually turning six this year." Despite her will to be sour, the mention of the magic day snapped her out of her mis-matched emotion.  "What?!"  Her eyes popped open and the indignity of the possibility that she might not make it to her self-announced milestone stopped the whole show.  "I don't know.  You just don't seem to be acting like a girl who is almost turning six.  You are acting more like a four-year-old.  Maybe you are just going to stay five this year."  Viv's reaction to this plausible pause in time and progression toward becoming what she most wants to be, a teenager, was enough to give us the parenting ammunition we needed to keep her at point for the next few weeks.

Yes, we were shameless enough to hold her birthday over her head to help motivate her toward the behaviors we knew she could master.  As a desperate parent, you will use whatever you have, and generally that means you manipulate what is most important to the child at the time.  How many parents ground their children from the one thing they like most?  It works.  With Viv we have just learned that what she holds on to most is not material, it is the immaterial status of various social positions.  If you want her to stop spiraling herself into another mammoth fit, all Josh does is pull out his camera phone and let her know he is going to show it to whichever person Viv is most interested in impressing at the time.  This scares me sometimes because I worry that we are instilling some sort of social shame inside her, but what else have we got?

Back to the birthday.  

Viv really did do her very best and the equations of age and behavior were made more and more clear to her.  We just mentioned what age range her behavior was most developmentally appropriate for and she made adjustments.  Not that we were always setting her back, we also rewarded her with the idea that she really is acting her own age, or even above it when appropriate.  The night before her birthday, when I traditionally take up a little more of my precious sleep time to hang streamers and put the gifts on the table for the waking birthday child I was not in the mood to do it.  I still didn't think she was there.  Luckily, I have a loving and forgiving man as my companion and Viv's daddy who went and hung the streamers and I lay acting like a thirteen-year-old fuming in my own room.  

 A bit of sleep and earnest prayer met the morn of the 16th with a renewed possibility that all we will be better today.  We got Viv to school with her photo album to share at community time and I made it through the day planning to make it a special one for Viv.  Once home from school we had a dance party to a Glee Pandora station (Viv loves any music from Glee or Taylor Swift, I swear she is a preteen some days).  Viv wanted to frost her brownie-cheesecake dessert with purple frosting herself despite the sugar alert sirens blaring in my head.  Then we set up for dinner of ramen noodles, her preferred choice.  When Daddy joined us for dinner then we got to the celebrations of what makes Viv special to us:

6, yes all 6, flower power candles on an over sweet 'cake.'

Cards from grandparents and aunts that emphasized the qualities that they felt were best in Viv.

Sparkly leotards for another year of huge improvements in Gymnastics.  She shines there and is her most focused and uses her body to her best potential as a gymnast, which we love about her and for her.

The semi-practical gift..

"Never Peed in panties" which is significant for a six year old to never pee in her panties anymore....it didn't last long unfortunately.

This book reminds me exactly of Viv!   "YOU WILL BE MY FRIEND!" by Peter Brown is the story of super confident Lucy bear who is determined to make every creature in the forest her best friend.  In the end she finds that just being calm and allowing people to get to know you is the best way to make friends.  There is certainly a moral in there that we hope will pass on to Viv.

The National Geographic "First book of Why?" was another natural book to give to Viv.  We do love her inquisitive conversationalist but are encouraging to find her own answers to questions this year rather than expecting everyone else to give her answers or opinions.

 After the actual birthday Viv figured she had got to what she wanted and needn't pay attention to the behaviors of a six year old, since she was six now anyway, which didn't fly for us as parents.  Yes, we did take back some of her gifts as bounty until she reversed some of her reversals.  It still meant enough to her to 'grow-up' that she has now, more than two weeks later, earned back all her representative gifts of moving into a six-year-old life.  Yes, it has been a bit silly to have to hold in question Viv's actual developmental age this last while, but the pay off is worth it.  Even if we do look like mean parents for awhile and forced the issue just a bit.