Sarcasm, bleh!

The world of sarcasm is really starting to rub me wrong.

I have long thought that sarcasm is the less witty version of humor that has evolved out of bitter society and lack of punny things to say.  That may be rooted in lack of education or just being lackadaisical.  Either way, the predominance of sarcasm from the junior high "just kidding" to frankly just over characterizing others in a negative light, all in the ruse of making a sarcastic statement (purportedly humorous) is RUDE.

Sadly, I do admit that I laugh at others expense all the time.  And, some people that are the genuine artifact of dry sarcasm are some of my favorite people.  But, here I am on the end (in a very global not-directly-connected-way) of a sarcastic jibe and I am upset.  Not only that, but after reading a plethora of sarcasm yesterday my spunky optimism was a bit shaken.  RUDE people.

Just goes to show that not everything popular is praiseworthy.

Dreamy

Tonight I reached a new level - I busted out 'the nightgown.'

Yes, that large shapeless maternal tent that envelops middle aged women.

My dear husband, oh, he just shook his head as I sauntered through the house in my undergarments pulling out one tote after the next.  What was I looking for on such a sticky hot evening?  My mumus of course!  I have realized on more than one occasion now why the Hawaiians wear mumus. Which is the same reason I have taken to wearing more 'summer dresses.' Who needs more material around your waist band or strapped around your thighs, let alone slurping onto your body in any sort of heat, let alone humid heat!

So tonight I did it, I slovenly embraced the 'comfort factor' and dawned a large shapeless gown to sleep in.  Me, the girl who has always slept in pants (even when I lived in Hawaii mind you) could take it no longer.  Not only did I pull out my most tent like mumu for sleeping, I've packed the other three right upstairs to wear for the rest of the week.  Halelujiah I had the presence of mind to get several mumus when living in Hawaii so no, in the hottest week of the summer in mid-western American, even the Hoosier state, I can feel some real A-Lo-HA!

The secondary factor to this equation is that after I put on said sexy nightwear I went straight to the fridge and pulled out a tub of cookie dough to eat from with my very own fork.  This night is gettin' pretty hot, and that is with the extra T.

Days to Remember

It only takes moments for children to create something which may be deemed disastrous by adults, but to children it is just play.  I am grateful for the mental clarity to remember that I was once a child too and remember doing the very mischievous and creative things that my children are doing now.  They make mud.  They pick forbidden flowers. They build forts all over the house.  They wear five outfits in one day.  They take perfectly organized things and reorganize them.  They play and play and play.  I love them.  Each proud mama moment that is accompanied by a shake of a head and the adage, well, I am sure I did the same thing when I was a kid, brings joy to my days.  These three are more than the 'Three Amigos,' they are perfect partners through every day.  

To accompany their physical shenanigans, there has been a slew of new sayings that have stopped me in my tracks to recognize how far we have come and what amazing individuals they all are:

- While Danny was taking his sweet time to pick out a pair of new underwear from the two packages I had bought for him, and I impatiently requested he move the process along, without moving from his lounging position inspecting the patterns of the briefs he responded "I was just considering which pair I should pick Mom."  Ah. It is something to be considered.

-The latest fad at the Button home as been knock-knock jokes.  I have heard and read more knock-knock jokes over the last month than I had known in a lifetime.  Having tired with the library book versions of the joke format, the kids began experimenting and embellishing their own versions.  Some were nonsense.  Others were variations.  Some had their own sort of satirical humor, such as Viv's favorite for herself, which is a variation on the interrupting cow:  Knock-Knock.  Who's there?  Viv?  Viv who...?  La la la la la.  The satire is in the play on Viv's actually personality - she really does loose interest when asking you a question and diverges into her own singing world before reaching the resolution of the question she first asked you.  Oh my sweet Viv.

- Faith's ballet instructor gave her a mixed CD of music as a gift at completion of the course year.  It contained many of the major ballet music.  Faith was excited to have it played and we popped it into the car immediately.  As she sat listening to the music, poised and relaxed at the same time, she said "Mama.  Certain music makes me have different feelings."  I looked gently in the rearview mirror at my pondering princess and asked how she felt listening to that music.  "Perfectly at peace,"  she responded.   I was happy for the next few moments of the car ride to explore with the children different genres of music and how they made us feel.  How perceptive they are.

-  On a bright afternoon I was doing yard work in the front yard.  Any time I am working in the front yard it is an invitation to the kids to ride scooters or bikes.  This day Danny had tired from riding his bike (he had finally figured out how to get himself started on his own which may have exhausted the mental capacities earlier than usual but I was might proud) and commenced kicking limbs around nearby me as I was trying to de-beard my tree.  Generally my best helper, I asked Danny to please retrieve my pruning shears from the porch.  He casually kicked his legs and said half committed "You've got legs Mom, you get them yourself."  A bit of indignant pride flashed over my nerves a moment before I recognized the phrase, my phrase, as it was repeated verbatim to me.  It was well deserved and I chuckled at my boy for having caught on to my own lazy schemes.  He ended up getting the shears eventually, after we laughed together. 

The Weight of Waiting

In this changing world market, I am certain there are hundreds that can sympathize with the time spent waiting for a phone call that may or may not change the course of your immediate life.  Job prospecting does that to you.

This week, it is my unhappy weight to be waiting.  Stuck musing on possibilities and weighing options that may me irrelevant.  Creating scenarios that could make a difference, or just be dreams.

I did not presume that it would roll this out of control though!

I had determined that this week would be Spring cleaning for the house.  Oh I love me some deep cleaning and decluttering.  The kids and I were excited to start in their bedroom and work our way out of there through the rest of the house.  As I started to get the momentum up to start the detail work I was halted with the 'what ifs' of future jobs.

'Really?" I thought. "Is it really going to change all that much if I get one job verses another?  I should just be able to get this room cleaned."  However, my secondary compulsion to never have to do more work than is necessary pulled the plug.  Yes, within a week I would know whether I would want to be switching rooms or not, creating an office or not, moving the kids' playroom to the basement, finishing the trim paint, ripping out a closet configuration, etc, etc, etc.

I should be able to just pick one possibility and move forward.  But, I could just wait a week and avoid repeating my work.  Do I consider that waiting or patience?  Is it indecision or cost management?

I was glad for a moment when our renter/nanny told us she was moving in four weeks.  "Oh." thought I, "now that would give me a good space to move the kids' toys. I could just move the rooms now.  Yet, if I am going to get out the white paint to do the trim I may as well wait for Saturday to put up the bead board wall. And I ought now rip out the master closet if the kid's clothes are going to go into it.  It would be nice if I just waited four weeks and did it all in on fun and crazy week of moving it all around.  That sounds like a lot of fun.  Except I have to wait four more weeks."

The dialogue continues.  It is Tuesday and I assume that I will have some sort of clarification on job status by the end of the week.  Then I could........wait.  Perhaps wait some more until it is all so urgent.  I prefer working under pressure anyway.

So funny I forgot to laugh.

Dear Mother Nature,

That was quite the little joke you pulled on friday.  Oh, I can sense the irony of the situation: me working my little worker bee self ragged trying to get the assumed dry basement ready for a giant carpet remnant go be put down and then WASH!  Really, it could have been funny that right after I spent a very hot and humid afternoon mopping the thick dust and dirt off the basement floor the next day you send torrential rains to seep through my foundation and gloss over the floors yet again.  And I might have right down belly-laughed at the pooled water on my nice, barely laid an hour, carpet had it not been right down rude of you to drop all that plentiful water (for which many a farmer has been praying I am sure) right into the seat of my hard work.  It was a funny joke of you Mother Nature, but I just forgot to laugh.

I was so excited for the 'bright yellow' carpet to come and cover all the asbestos tile.

I know, you're thinking, that ain't 'bright' yellow, it is a might mellow for my taste too.

Thank you newly bought de-humidifier combination fan for drying out the carpet. I love you.

Slow progress

I am to the point with all the projects etc.  that there is very small progress.  That is the most discouraging stage.  There is still a list of little thing to be done before all is completed, but you can't really tell the difference that it has been done until all the other little stuff has been done too!  Grr.   We have had to switch gears a couple of times now too...what with having to rush and get the upstairs apt livable within one week to have the Elders move in.  It is a really nice apartment and I would be lying if I said I didn't wish we could just adopt it all to be part of our house.  Although we have more than enough room as it is!

In fact, along with getting upstairs all fancied - we have been working in the basement too.  It is summer time now and the weather is hot.  The basement is cool though.  What better time to do projects in the basement than right now!  Also, we are getting some cheap carpet remnants for upstairs and the sales guy wanted to unload some bright yellow carpet remnants too!  BRIGHT YELLOW folks.  That pretty much had my name on it from the start.  Since it is 'just the basement' and temporary fix until we really finish out the basement, Josh has no problem with me putting bright yellow carpet all over the place.  I am happy just thinking about it...ohhh, it comes tomorrow.  In the meantime I am making slow progress getting everything organized down there.....I hate it when things don't have a proper home.

To top off this slow moving progress train, I have several amazing books in my reading repretoire.  However, I am making mega slow progress because I can't seem to get through a couple pages before I fall asleep - honking snores and all!  So not fair.  I am actually making the time to read the books because I need their information, but my brain is on turtle mode!  Not fair.  True, I like sleep, but I really like reading.  I hate having to fight my body on two fronts - "I want to read.'  "No! I want to sleep!"  The voices are getting louder, that's probably why I just shut off and ignore them both.

I won't even mention in this slowly made blog post how defeating it was to go on a 3 mile run this morning at my slowest pace EVER.  Progress...I went running.  Slow....that's just slow.

Moving on now...  steady wins the race.

Shocking surprises for today

Shocking discovery #1 - Apples and Pigs go together. I don't know who first discovered that one - was it the first Polynesian that thrust an apple in a roasted pig? Was it the farmer who fed the apple cores to his pig and thought 'you are what you eat' theory up. I don't know. There is definately a correlation though. I've been reading Roald Dahl's book "Fantastic Mr Fox" and even in there Farmer Bean has a apple and pork farm.

These are all speculative relations between the apple and the pig - the real evidence I have is this: I made some fabulous pork chops last night by merely browning the meat, putting it in a pyrex, dumping a bottle of my apple pie filling over the top, covering it with tin foil and let it bake at 350 until the meat was cooked! Fantastic indeed! I felt like the sly fox "I did! I hit it right on!" It wasn't all my idea mind you, I was looking in a recipe book for pork and there were several recipes for pork with apples, and me being so lazy, I figured I already cored several apples and put a bit of sugar with them when canning so why not use that? Brilliant.

Shocking discovery #2 - I live in one of the highest concentrated areas of West Nile carrying mosquitos in the nation!!

Based on this evidence: the state of Arizona has 18 of the less than 100 reports of West Nile in the US. That is about 20%. A local family practice that I know of from an inside source has documented 4 of those 18 cases in the state. That is like 30%! So overall, there is more incidence in my geographical area of West Nile than anywhere else. And do you know what west Nile causes? Viral meningitis, which is basically fluids backing up in your brain and nearly killing you.

No need to panic. With the gila monster (most poisinous reptile on land), scorpion (probably the most poisionous insect), black widow spiders (found in nearly every house) and diseased mosquitos - Arizona is still the fastest growing metropolitan area in the US! I should count myself lucky.

Good thing it is already 10:30am

because I would have felt really guilty calling this breakfast:

Despite the claim that it is a "good source of calcium and Vitamin D" and "nutrition to help your kids grow up strong" the second ingredient on the list is SUGAR! And I will tell you, you can taste it! At first I thought it sure looks a lot like dog food, and then I tasted it - it was candy! Yeah! What easier way to get kids to eat breakfast than by crumbling up their favorite candy bar and putting it in a bowl with a little milk. Delicious! Don't worry, the pumped your regular Hershey's bar full of all sorts of minerals and nutrients so it is not just candy. With a list of vitamins A, B, C, B6, B2, B1, Folic Acid, B12, D3, I am not sure if I even needed to take my multivitamin this morning. From now on I am switching to Reese's for all my nutrition needs.

I am the guilty one that bought it on sale and it is the perfect not-totally-guilt-ridden sweet pick-me-up. And I fed the kids multi-grain Cheerios and juice. Yesterday I made oatmeal. So, today I have a nice brunch....definately not breakfast snack. Hey, there's a good idea- the perfect Church snack! Just put it in a baggy and you wouldn't hear anything from your kids until the 'cereal' ran out. ;)