Saucing with a little sassing

Oh my, the loveliness of autumn!  

Apples are ready for the harvest just as my little people are ripening.  I love both canning and caring.  My little crew and I set out to a friends' mini-orchard for some free apples.  The kids picked the low hanging fruit.  Faith was determined to fill her lid, Danny to fill his whole box, and Viv her belly.  We were able to pack it all home to make some all Indiana applesauce.

 This season has been a bit different for all of us.  Each of the children has been coming of age in a different way. I have been grateful that school has been a positive support for each of them and a positive way in which they are separate from each other most of the day.  For then, when they come back together, they are much better at being siblings.  Turning six is crazy amazing.  With six has come a new level of sass.  We are doing our best to mash it out of them and turn it into something sweet.

Cheering us on

I feel as though I am not a very consistent person, but I have consistent desires to be one of those people.  Writing falls under that category; I feel as if I loose the vibe than I am too far behind to catch up.  However, recent events have taught me to appreciate even the less inspired entries in the life of the Button Family.

To begin, I feel as though there is great need to send out some more joy and rejoicing!!

Applause for Blogger!
Now this blog contains some of the most precious things to me - pictures.  Within the last month our Mac had a pretty severe heart attack, or stroke, whichever mainstay body organ you would equate the hard drive of a computer.  It died.  We saw some warning signs, but did not take it to the doctor before they called the time.  Within that oh so dead hard drive are ALL our photos.  I know, backup and so forth, and we tried, just not often enough and this was before the invention of iCloud.  Now, all I want for Christmas is my pictures back, which may be possible in a clean room environment by some highly trained specialist, and to me, it is worth it.  Thank heavens I have been putting at least some snippets of life here, with photo evidence.

Hooray for Housewives!
I have had a bit of a showdown with my feminist teacher in my Women's Literacies course.  Some conversations were unpleasant, but I was bold in a way I felt I must (and feel very relieved to have heard echoed sentiments in the 183rd semi-annual general conference) and in a small way, triumphant.  Through persistence I have found a way to make sure feminist theory not overshadow the authentic feminine voice and have determinedly shown a true representation would be more humble and reflective of the sensibilities that make women excellent housewives!  I have felt so inspired that I have decided to formulate a whole years work on the subject, in the form of a master's thesis.  Ah! Finally to be inspired by a cause that speaks so clearly to who I am and what I stand for in an academic community that has been misrepresenting authenticity!  High point: my professor admitted to the class that if any woman were to suscribe to a feminist view point they must admit that feminism, as a body of theory and movements associated with it, has made some pretty harsh mistakes which still hold the name under a wicked lens. Own up to it, and then you are able to really understand what the third wave movement is all about.  And yes, I consider myself a feminist activist, and I will more than likely explain more about that as research continues.

Hats of for Dental Insurance!
We did our before-school-check-ups on the kids' teeth.  After our last multiple procedure visits in AZ for Faith and Danny we had decided to pay dental insurance - and hooray we did!  Faith had swallowed her crown and Danny's two front teeth were rotting at the roots.  Again, Viv gets high honors for having the world's wonder enamel with no needed dental attention beyond a bit of plaque.  End result, three removed teeth.  Faith had the rotted crownless tooth removed and Danny, well, we shall say that hearing the 'original' version of "all I want for Christmas" is delightful.

Last time with front teeth for years to come.

Two small treasures at one big price.

Small and strange perks of Indiana, what fun!

In the small quiet town where Josh practices medicine, the world's largest historic car auction happens yearly!  I think all the citizens of the town also own historic cars, for not only are there lots full of cars for auction prices, every house in town has a beautiful car sitting out in the front yard with a for sale sign.  I can't wait until we have money....I have my eye set on a few beautiful models.  It is a car lovers dream, and here we are in the middle of it!

And three cheers for finding what you don't need!

This is the house that Josh and I had envisioned as our forever home.  In the country with a wrap around porch.  Bonus for being in the correct location.  Naturally, when I saw a for sale sign in the front yard I convinced Josh that it would be worth our while to go walk through it, just to make sure that we didn't miss our opportunity.  Turns out the house is dreamy.  We did our research, and in so doing found an even dreamier home.  We tried to hurriedly get our ducks in a row to put an offer on our dream home, that was for real and for sale.  Turns out, ducks don't like being rushed or herded.  Although we did eventually round up enough of the appropriate ducks, our dream house had already floated out of our reach.  This house is still there.  We see it daily.  But we now know what ducks are ready and which are not and are happy to just stay in our own little pond and keep dreaming.  Dreams are useful, but it makes the most financial sense to live in what you can afford right now.

The sunflowers were incredible and made the house so quaint.

Our neighbor put up the picket fence and I like how nice it makes our home look.

As of Sept. 2nd we had put in a lot of work into this home, and it shows.

Backyard particularly has transformed with grass, fencing, 

and the almost finished garden.

I don't know about that.....

I am now a student at IPFW (Indiana University - Purdue University Fort Wayne).  The mascot for the university is the Mastadon, really old elephant so similar to the mammoth I am not certain what the difference is but they found some bones in farms up here so it is related.

One of the mascot campaign slogans is: 

I get it, if there were a big heard of elephant sized creatures running though the ground would rumble.  Yet, every time I see the slogan or a t-shirt with it on it on campus I giggle a little inside.  

Doesn't it sound like someone just farted, silently, but it was a big one?

Golden Boy

I am blessed to be greeted by happy kiddos every morning.  I may not be a morning person, yet I am alright with getting up early to make breakfast and fix lunches with my little darlings because they are so pleasant.  This morning was just delicious.  Thanks to my Golden Boy I had a frosting moment:

I had asked my happy son if he could go and wake up his sister.  He did so cheerily that his sister was not at all upset with being awake.  A moment later he came in and told me with a shoulder shrug, "I made Viv's bed for her since she woke up a little later today."

What a Golden Boy.  Without any prompting he just knows how to serve and does so because it is very much who he is.  Aw, I miss him during the day.  I told his teachers that I suppose I could share him with them since they appreciate how Golden he is also.

Danny also makes breakfast for us sometimes.

Mommy-Minus: Day One in a life without my kids around me

All three of my kids went to school this morning.  Within minutes the foreboding stillness and silence in the house was haunting.  Thank heavens a friend and I had set up a running date.  In an empty house I was talking to myself; on the run I was blabbing constantly.  Where are my little people?

My gracious friend stayed to fill another hour of time with me, for which I was grateful.  Only four more hours of self-discovery.  So I dive into the myriad of household chores and bury myself in the duties of the house elf?  Perhaps I finally catch up on a lot of missed rest from the last six years?  Or I could just indulge in the silence and read all day long?

In every moment I am stalled at the decision.  I keep thinking that the kids are just out with their Dad and will walk in the door any minute.  Thinking, hoping, longing.

I really didn't think I would feel this way.  Time to rebuild my days.  Lots and lots of time.

Goodbye Summer

Today the kids and I went up to their school to get all their 'stuff' in their classrooms.  'Ret and Set' to go for school next week.  They have been on a count down every since I was done with my summer school.  Which reminds me; where did the summer go?  I somewhat remember some fun before the 4th of July.  Then we had that crazy fun trip to DC.  Then it all sort of disappeared.  I will blame that on a six week intense summer school course.  I am not going to do that again.  In the end I did make and A grade in the class, but it seems to me it was the first A I have ever really worked for (that sounds snoodish).  The question remains, was the A worth missing half of the summer?

NO,

The kids managed without me.  As they always seem to do.  The house has suffered a little from neglect, but I have promised to give it fair attention next week.  Next week, when all my precious little people will be gone from me for 7 hours of the day.  

GONE

I have battling feelings about the whole school ordeal.  I know they will love it.  I know I will enjoy some time to conquer multiple projects.  Yet, I will miss my companions of 6 years. I have given my every moment to these little people. Sometimes it feels I have given them my very identity.  Now I must rebuild it without them.  It struck me that I might feel the need to turn on the radio to keep me company in the heavy silence of their absence.  I don't listen to the radio now, just the happy sound of them playing in the house.  Right now they are in the playroom working with change and legos.  It is magical.  Every moment of being a child is 

MAGIC

Josh doesn't like the aftermath of what I call daily magic.   He calls it trashing the house.  Each day the kids create a new magical world all their own.  I can observe and listen, but always from a distance.  There is a reason there are no adults in Neverland, they change the magic, and I have never like being the pirate.  Sometimes I get to be the monster, which means they run from me and still giggle.  I can be a monster.  I can be a momma.  I'd rather not be alone though.  School feels like the end of childhood magic and being together.  They will be with other people, not me.  I suppose all I can do is wait another ten months for 

SUMMER.

These three little people got my camera one day and amused themselves with....quarters....no, glistening eyeballs.  That is magic worth only 50 cents.

Beyond the stage - an extension of theatrics

"We need peace in this country! Peace! PEACE!" yells Danny.
Such is the freedom call from the play room this morning.  Then a sad sounding girl sings, "Why am I just a lonely girl?"
All of this after asking them to go start their morning routine and they marched into their room with a solemn "Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  Look down. Look down.  Don't look them in the eye."

That is the result of a mother in theatrics.  Danny is playing an Americanized version (they still don't care that France is the setting and Danny is a huge fan of the American Revolution) of Enjolras, Faith the wispy Cossette, and Viv a sassy Eponnine.  My little leading cast!

I have been part of the ensemble cast in a truly talented production of Les Miserables in Fort Wayne this Summer.  It was a tough decision for me to take an ensemble role in a production with the time commitment away from my family and our summer fun, but the caliber of the show ultimately made the decision for me.  I have grown to appreciate this show more and more for its technicality and depth.  Songs still bring me to tears nightly and the actors we have as Jean Val Jean and Javert are breath-taking.  My piddly roles (factory girl, creepy hair pedlar, drinker, revolutionary sister, wedding quest) are just parts of a whole, but still allow me to use my voice in ways I have never done before and join in huge anthems such as  "One Day More" and "Do You Hear the People Sing."  Has the time been worth it?  I still question that.  Yet the memories and the moments, especially with how it affects my kids is definitely worth it.

Yes, the kids did see the production.  It is an extremely heavy show for little children and I do not recommend that anyone take children under the age of 12 to such a show.  Yet, my kids now the music from having rehearsed with me at home and we talk often of the story.  Josh was a great Dad and sat with them during the very late performance, taking them out during the 'red light district' and back in through the duration of the almost three hour show.  I had given them all queues for leaving the theatre to avoid the red light district, telling them to leave just as Fantine was finishing singing "I Dreamed a Dream."  Apparently, Viv was hyper-focused on avoiding the 'bad decision ladies' and began bossing Josh out of the theatre as soon as "Dream" started.  She was agitated through the potty break and with every ten minutes (further past their bedtime) she became more and more of a grump.  I had mentioned to Viv's therapist that we noticed some increased behaviors after having kept the kids up until 11:30 to see Les Miserables and the therapist was noticeably alarmed.  Rightly so.  It wasn't until I explained that my kids always see me in the shows I work in that she relaxed a bit and her opinion of our parenting choices became rational again.  ;)

In talking with the kids since they attended on opening night I have enjoyed their impressions of the show.  When asking what was their favorite part of the show, they all agreed that they liked "When he (Jean Val Jean) was singing his prayer over the boy (Marius)."  And then we get to sing, as a family over dinner "Bring Him Home."  Or in response to "Master of the House" they asked if I was just drinking soda instead of beer.  I told them that no one was drinking anything but we were all acting like we were drinking.  Faith suggested that we could at least be drinking water for even if that spilled it wouldn't make a big mess.  I love the believability of children as well as their very sound logic.

I would not say that this show has been 'fun,' it has been hard from day one.  Our director has been very gracious with a very large cast, but it has been a lot of work and time for.....the experience.  Life in the theatre is not a complete life, it is only one that orbits my real life as a wife and mother.  Now, as Danny runs through the room saying "I love you Mom, but I am preparing for war" then marches calmly into the other room to face his revolutionary plight with loving sisters bidding him farewell before turning the enemy fire on him, I feel a bit better about the time I have spent with this show.  I would much rather they are combining the battle tactics of George Washington and young French Revolutionaries rather than Batman and the Penguin.  Yep, that might be a bit snobby, but you can't say it isn't historical!

New favorite songs from Les Miserables, beyond the classic cannon: "Turning" "Drink With Me" "Dog Eats Dog" "Javert's Suicide" "Epilogue"

 Despite the challenges, you can see why I am proud to be in this production. Here are a few of the archive photos that capture how lovely the artistic design of this show was.

Wedding Guests for Marius and Cossette "Ring out the Bells"

"Turning" was created as a mourning scene, I cry every night for my dead brother.

"Javert's Suicide"  I watch this from the wings and get chills every night.  Stuart Hepler is phenomenal at interpreting this character so that his suicide seems necessary.

"Dring with Me"  a lovely moment on the barricade with our boys before they are slaughtered.

"One Day More"  although it is the climax of Act 1 it has gotten standing ovations half way through the show.  Just the convergence of all those voices at once is magnificient!

"The Poor" The lighting and staging of this is so effective.

"ABC cafe" also "Do You Hear the People Sing"

Factory girls. Dirty, cold, and tired.

Todd Frmyier has captured physically the exhaustion of Jean Val Jean in so many moments that he creates this character, I love watching all of his nuanced acting.