I don't know about that.....

I am now a student at IPFW (Indiana University - Purdue University Fort Wayne).  The mascot for the university is the Mastadon, really old elephant so similar to the mammoth I am not certain what the difference is but they found some bones in farms up here so it is related.

One of the mascot campaign slogans is: 

I get it, if there were a big heard of elephant sized creatures running though the ground would rumble.  Yet, every time I see the slogan or a t-shirt with it on it on campus I giggle a little inside.  

Doesn't it sound like someone just farted, silently, but it was a big one?

Golden Boy

I am blessed to be greeted by happy kiddos every morning.  I may not be a morning person, yet I am alright with getting up early to make breakfast and fix lunches with my little darlings because they are so pleasant.  This morning was just delicious.  Thanks to my Golden Boy I had a frosting moment:

I had asked my happy son if he could go and wake up his sister.  He did so cheerily that his sister was not at all upset with being awake.  A moment later he came in and told me with a shoulder shrug, "I made Viv's bed for her since she woke up a little later today."

What a Golden Boy.  Without any prompting he just knows how to serve and does so because it is very much who he is.  Aw, I miss him during the day.  I told his teachers that I suppose I could share him with them since they appreciate how Golden he is also.

Danny also makes breakfast for us sometimes.

Mommy-Minus: Day One in a life without my kids around me

All three of my kids went to school this morning.  Within minutes the foreboding stillness and silence in the house was haunting.  Thank heavens a friend and I had set up a running date.  In an empty house I was talking to myself; on the run I was blabbing constantly.  Where are my little people?

My gracious friend stayed to fill another hour of time with me, for which I was grateful.  Only four more hours of self-discovery.  So I dive into the myriad of household chores and bury myself in the duties of the house elf?  Perhaps I finally catch up on a lot of missed rest from the last six years?  Or I could just indulge in the silence and read all day long?

In every moment I am stalled at the decision.  I keep thinking that the kids are just out with their Dad and will walk in the door any minute.  Thinking, hoping, longing.

I really didn't think I would feel this way.  Time to rebuild my days.  Lots and lots of time.

Goodbye Summer

Today the kids and I went up to their school to get all their 'stuff' in their classrooms.  'Ret and Set' to go for school next week.  They have been on a count down every since I was done with my summer school.  Which reminds me; where did the summer go?  I somewhat remember some fun before the 4th of July.  Then we had that crazy fun trip to DC.  Then it all sort of disappeared.  I will blame that on a six week intense summer school course.  I am not going to do that again.  In the end I did make and A grade in the class, but it seems to me it was the first A I have ever really worked for (that sounds snoodish).  The question remains, was the A worth missing half of the summer?

NO,

The kids managed without me.  As they always seem to do.  The house has suffered a little from neglect, but I have promised to give it fair attention next week.  Next week, when all my precious little people will be gone from me for 7 hours of the day.  

GONE

I have battling feelings about the whole school ordeal.  I know they will love it.  I know I will enjoy some time to conquer multiple projects.  Yet, I will miss my companions of 6 years. I have given my every moment to these little people. Sometimes it feels I have given them my very identity.  Now I must rebuild it without them.  It struck me that I might feel the need to turn on the radio to keep me company in the heavy silence of their absence.  I don't listen to the radio now, just the happy sound of them playing in the house.  Right now they are in the playroom working with change and legos.  It is magical.  Every moment of being a child is 

MAGIC

Josh doesn't like the aftermath of what I call daily magic.   He calls it trashing the house.  Each day the kids create a new magical world all their own.  I can observe and listen, but always from a distance.  There is a reason there are no adults in Neverland, they change the magic, and I have never like being the pirate.  Sometimes I get to be the monster, which means they run from me and still giggle.  I can be a monster.  I can be a momma.  I'd rather not be alone though.  School feels like the end of childhood magic and being together.  They will be with other people, not me.  I suppose all I can do is wait another ten months for 

SUMMER.

These three little people got my camera one day and amused themselves with....quarters....no, glistening eyeballs.  That is magic worth only 50 cents.

Beyond the stage - an extension of theatrics

"We need peace in this country! Peace! PEACE!" yells Danny.
Such is the freedom call from the play room this morning.  Then a sad sounding girl sings, "Why am I just a lonely girl?"
All of this after asking them to go start their morning routine and they marched into their room with a solemn "Uh-huh. Uh-huh.  Look down. Look down.  Don't look them in the eye."

That is the result of a mother in theatrics.  Danny is playing an Americanized version (they still don't care that France is the setting and Danny is a huge fan of the American Revolution) of Enjolras, Faith the wispy Cossette, and Viv a sassy Eponnine.  My little leading cast!

I have been part of the ensemble cast in a truly talented production of Les Miserables in Fort Wayne this Summer.  It was a tough decision for me to take an ensemble role in a production with the time commitment away from my family and our summer fun, but the caliber of the show ultimately made the decision for me.  I have grown to appreciate this show more and more for its technicality and depth.  Songs still bring me to tears nightly and the actors we have as Jean Val Jean and Javert are breath-taking.  My piddly roles (factory girl, creepy hair pedlar, drinker, revolutionary sister, wedding quest) are just parts of a whole, but still allow me to use my voice in ways I have never done before and join in huge anthems such as  "One Day More" and "Do You Hear the People Sing."  Has the time been worth it?  I still question that.  Yet the memories and the moments, especially with how it affects my kids is definitely worth it.

Yes, the kids did see the production.  It is an extremely heavy show for little children and I do not recommend that anyone take children under the age of 12 to such a show.  Yet, my kids now the music from having rehearsed with me at home and we talk often of the story.  Josh was a great Dad and sat with them during the very late performance, taking them out during the 'red light district' and back in through the duration of the almost three hour show.  I had given them all queues for leaving the theatre to avoid the red light district, telling them to leave just as Fantine was finishing singing "I Dreamed a Dream."  Apparently, Viv was hyper-focused on avoiding the 'bad decision ladies' and began bossing Josh out of the theatre as soon as "Dream" started.  She was agitated through the potty break and with every ten minutes (further past their bedtime) she became more and more of a grump.  I had mentioned to Viv's therapist that we noticed some increased behaviors after having kept the kids up until 11:30 to see Les Miserables and the therapist was noticeably alarmed.  Rightly so.  It wasn't until I explained that my kids always see me in the shows I work in that she relaxed a bit and her opinion of our parenting choices became rational again.  ;)

In talking with the kids since they attended on opening night I have enjoyed their impressions of the show.  When asking what was their favorite part of the show, they all agreed that they liked "When he (Jean Val Jean) was singing his prayer over the boy (Marius)."  And then we get to sing, as a family over dinner "Bring Him Home."  Or in response to "Master of the House" they asked if I was just drinking soda instead of beer.  I told them that no one was drinking anything but we were all acting like we were drinking.  Faith suggested that we could at least be drinking water for even if that spilled it wouldn't make a big mess.  I love the believability of children as well as their very sound logic.

I would not say that this show has been 'fun,' it has been hard from day one.  Our director has been very gracious with a very large cast, but it has been a lot of work and time for.....the experience.  Life in the theatre is not a complete life, it is only one that orbits my real life as a wife and mother.  Now, as Danny runs through the room saying "I love you Mom, but I am preparing for war" then marches calmly into the other room to face his revolutionary plight with loving sisters bidding him farewell before turning the enemy fire on him, I feel a bit better about the time I have spent with this show.  I would much rather they are combining the battle tactics of George Washington and young French Revolutionaries rather than Batman and the Penguin.  Yep, that might be a bit snobby, but you can't say it isn't historical!

New favorite songs from Les Miserables, beyond the classic cannon: "Turning" "Drink With Me" "Dog Eats Dog" "Javert's Suicide" "Epilogue"

 Despite the challenges, you can see why I am proud to be in this production. Here are a few of the archive photos that capture how lovely the artistic design of this show was.

Wedding Guests for Marius and Cossette "Ring out the Bells"

"Turning" was created as a mourning scene, I cry every night for my dead brother.

"Javert's Suicide"  I watch this from the wings and get chills every night.  Stuart Hepler is phenomenal at interpreting this character so that his suicide seems necessary.

"Dring with Me"  a lovely moment on the barricade with our boys before they are slaughtered.

"One Day More"  although it is the climax of Act 1 it has gotten standing ovations half way through the show.  Just the convergence of all those voices at once is magnificient!

"The Poor" The lighting and staging of this is so effective.

"ABC cafe" also "Do You Hear the People Sing"

Factory girls. Dirty, cold, and tired.

Todd Frmyier has captured physically the exhaustion of Jean Val Jean in so many moments that he creates this character, I love watching all of his nuanced acting.  

Memorial 6th - Washington DC continued

Saturday July 6th was Josh' favorite day.  We were up early to wait in line for the National Arichives, home of the Declaration of Independence, Bill of Rights, and Constitution.  While the girls and I kept space in line Danny and Josh returned to the US Marine Memorial.  Once finally in the Archive building (ah air conditioning) it was awesome, as in awe-some.  There is a sign outside the Archive building about the Federal Triangle, which was designed by L'Enfant, designating the Archive building as the most elaborate design on the triangle.  It was to be "a temple of history."  I believe that the reverence inside the building for those documents it houses is worthy of the intention.

Danny with Thomas Jefferson's jacket.

After the Archive building we went on to revisit the American Heritage Smithsonian.  It was a bit of a split as the girls were super interested in the first lady dresses (as I was too) and Josh and Danny did a once over then headed downstairs to revisit the American Wars.

Our walk back to the metro was designed to take us past the White House.  It was a hot photo op as the kids really wanted to get back to the hotel for swimming in the pool and relaxing before an evening of visiting all the memorials.We ate lunch in the Ronald Reagan building, an addition to Federal Triangle.

Jefferson's house.

Abraham Lincoln was most recognized by the kids.

Korean War Memorial

Roosevelt's memorial was new to me, and super impressive.

WWII Memorial at twilight.

Vietnam War Memorial

Aunt Jill was our guide around DC and the perfect companion for the kids in the evening when Josh and I were done being parents.  She has such a good way of talking with the kids to help them understand the importance of things.

Dreamy

Tonight I reached a new level - I busted out 'the nightgown.'

Yes, that large shapeless maternal tent that envelops middle aged women.

My dear husband, oh, he just shook his head as I sauntered through the house in my undergarments pulling out one tote after the next.  What was I looking for on such a sticky hot evening?  My mumus of course!  I have realized on more than one occasion now why the Hawaiians wear mumus. Which is the same reason I have taken to wearing more 'summer dresses.' Who needs more material around your waist band or strapped around your thighs, let alone slurping onto your body in any sort of heat, let alone humid heat!

So tonight I did it, I slovenly embraced the 'comfort factor' and dawned a large shapeless gown to sleep in.  Me, the girl who has always slept in pants (even when I lived in Hawaii mind you) could take it no longer.  Not only did I pull out my most tent like mumu for sleeping, I've packed the other three right upstairs to wear for the rest of the week.  Halelujiah I had the presence of mind to get several mumus when living in Hawaii so no, in the hottest week of the summer in mid-western American, even the Hoosier state, I can feel some real A-Lo-HA!

The secondary factor to this equation is that after I put on said sexy nightwear I went straight to the fridge and pulled out a tub of cookie dough to eat from with my very own fork.  This night is gettin' pretty hot, and that is with the extra T.